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It is now the last day of May 2000 and time is nigh for a proper conclusion to the American Adventure. The effects of living in another country do not really end when you get off the airplane and meet up with your friends and family. You have been changed by the experience, your horizons have been broadened, you have been exposed to new places, different people and foreign ways of thinking. Basically, you come home with a brand new set of prejudices and you can now view what always seemed perfectly normal with the eyes of a foreigner as well as a local. Also, if you lived in America, for instance, you probably came back with a lot more "stuff" and now that you live in an Australian sized house, you won't have space to store all this stuff you avidly collected in the Land of the (12-months Interest) Free.
We first spent a few days in Sydney which we found to be shockingly changed. There are brand new buildings everywhere, there are new roads and many old roads have be altered, all in preparation for the Olympics. Given that we have only been away for two and a half years, it was quite a surprise to see that the roads from the Airport to Kings Cross had changed almost beyond recognition. We thought that the problem would be staying on the correct side of the road, rather than the roght side, not getting lost! In any event, this was our introduction to reverse culture shock.
Our next step was finding a new home. We flew down to Melbourne the day after Australia Day and found our temporary accommodation, a tiny rabbit hutch in Werribee which, while not particular good for what it was supposedly designed for (accommodation), it did serve a useful purpose in that it acclimatised us to the idea of living in a normal sized house. It did appear to be a perfect habitat for daddy-long-legs (which Taltarni had great difficulty coping with) and fleas and ants (both of which Kajsa had great difficulty coping with). By the end of the first day in Melbourne, we had arranged for Kalle to go to school the next day (at his insistence, he missed one day of school in Australia, four days all up since he was at school the previous Friday) and for Taltarni to spend half a day at day-care (at her insistence) and also looked at a handful of Defence houses.
Over the weekend it became clear to us what sort of rapid descent in social standing we had made. We weren't in Kansas anymore. (Yes, we know we lived in Virginia, this is a reference to The Wizard of Oz. Sheeesh! Do we have to explain everything?) We now lived (albeit temporarily) very near to the famous Werribee Water Treatment Area, also known as the Werribee S___ Farm (hence the colourful phrase, "in more s___ than a Werribee duck"). The water tasted terrible.
To those who have not had the pleasure of living in Werribee, which is located in Melbourne's South-West, let us explain. Melbourne is 25 km away. Because it is so flat here, on the few days when it is not raining, you can plainly see the towers of the city. In the other direction you can see a hill that is god knows how far away. The kids get scared when we drive over a bridge over the freeway because they are so unused to the sensation of the car going up and down. The suburb to which we eventually moved is not far from the delightful Port Philip Bay (note heavy irony here) and that means when the wind comes from the South, it is pretty much direct from Antarctica (unless it has made a detour through the sewage farm and picked up some of that fragrant "odour toilet"). On the positive side, rents are inexpensive. You could live here for half a year on what we had to pay for a month in Washington.
As well as being topographically desolate, the region we now inhabit seems to be a cultural wasteland as well. Tim spent a few days while on a week break trying to locate a bookshop. Finally he came across a miniscule bookshop which, despite being half empty (a false wall separated the already small shop into two smaller sections), proudly declared that it was the only one of its kind in Werribee. Not that it is the only bookshop in the whole area (Greater Werribee, ha ha): there is a bible shop very close to us (very handy if we are ever stuck by lightning and/or feel in need of moral guidance) and the intriguing combination of exchange bookshop cum laundrette in Hoppers Crossing. Another tragedy is the almost total absence of music shops. The two shops that do exist seem to be entirely devoted to Top 10 stuff (somewhat underwhelming if your taste doesn't run to "Bardot" or any ex-members of the "Spice Girls"). It's enough to drive you to internet commerce.
Alright, there seems to be a tinge of discontent here. For the sake of fairness, we have to disclose that Tim was finally able to buy a couple of good CDs (including Mike Oldfield's latest) and got some books (from the K-Mart bestsellers stand) so it can't be all bad. The real problem here is that we have been spoilt by living in the US. The thing that is missing from our current existence is the value which is central to the American shopping experience - convenience. To get to visit good bookshops and music stores, we have to drive into Melbourne and put up with the nausea of finding parking etc, etc. It is not a five minute drive to Tysons Corner and, hey presto, it's all there (along with ridiculous amounts of parking, unless it is during the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas). Partly this is because the area we lived in in the States was dripping with money and now we live in a much different socio-economic area, one which borders on disadvantaged.
We spent a few weeks looking for a house that would suit our needs. We had great difficulty finding four bedroom places, particularly within our price range and within a reasonable distance of the schools. In reality, it was tough just finding four bedroom houses. We don't know what it is about this place but they don't seem to mind having their kids sharing bedrooms for their entire lives and no-one has ever heard of the concept of a study. The idea of at least 1.5 of your 2.5 kids sharing a room is fine when they are young but this seems to ignore some basic facts: kids grow up and eventually will transform into moody teenagers who will need (or at least demand) as room of their own; said moody teenagers, as well as having to deal with acne, dating and learning to like (or pretend to like) rap, are also supposed to study, which is difficult if you are sharing a room with another moody teenager; and, at least in the rest of the free world (Melbourne may be an exception), people have friends and relatives who might want to visit. If you are stuck with a three bedroom house, where do guests stay? Perhaps at one of the local hotels ... ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Anyway, our problems with finding a four bedrooms place were so great that we are living in a three bedroom house and using the garage as a study (where this is currently being typed). Kalle and Taltarni share a room which has an added advantage in that when they both make a mess, there is still only one room which needs to be tidied.
When we moved in, with just our hand-luggage and the stuff that had been in storage in Australia, we thought that we might have difficulty fitting everything in. After our airfreight arrived, we were convinced that we were going to have problems. At this time we had about half of our belongings and the house was already stuffed full. So, when the seafreight arrived, a great proportion of it remained packed. The boxes are now ranged around the walls of the garage, threatening to fall down at any moment. We have promised ourselves a garage sale before we depart for Thailand.
A few answers to common questions: people ask us whether we miss America, what it is that we miss about America, whether it is nice to be home and what is better about Australia.
Well, we do miss America, especially our friends who are still there (and some who have returned to their various homes) and the countryside. The environs of Great Falls are beautiful, not even closely matched by the region we are now in. We miss particular the walking and driving around the Great Falls area. We miss Baldrick. We don't miss the traffic. We miss the convenience. We don't miss Fox Five News. We miss "Everyone Loves Raymond" and being able to watch "Star Trek: Voyager" on TV. We don't miss censorship.
Is it nice to be home? We'll tell you when we get home. We are not at home, we live in an alien part of another alien city that happens to be in Australia. Canberra is home (and Sydney, to a lesser extent).
The things that we like about being back in Australia are numerous. Schooling is more reasonable. People are more human (not bank accounts on legs or walking ambitions). Tim loves the fact that he can have a proper argument, he really missed that. He was never really being able to get his teeth into debates along the line of "is it constitutional for the government to legislate against personal ownership of a nuclear arsenal and if so how many warheads per delivery system should the average citizen be limited to (for his own self-defence)", "which is the more unnecessary evil - tax or single mothers?", "should social welfare be floated on the stock-exchange?" and "can capital punishment be made more painful? (and if so, would it be broadcast on free-to-air or cable?)". We can watch SBS (occasionally). Oh, and then there's The Bill. There is being closer to Tim's family, food that is not drenched in sugar, full fat yoghurt (yummy yummy yummy), Petit Miam, Franklins Big Fresh and bread that is pleasant to eat just by itself (such as pull-aparts).
Additionally, now that we have been here for four months, we have stopped giggling when we hear Australian accents (Orsestraiya - he he he). This is an odd one because Tim, at least, spent most of his working days in the company of Australians, but he still found it strange to hear people talk with Australian accents. After a little thought, we have come up with a theory. Basically you get used to the way that people you know talk and no longer notice their accents (be they Australian, ex-pats and Embassy people, or locals, such as neighbours, etc). But the people you can't get used to are strangers. When living in another country you become accustomed to hearing strangers talking with a certain accent and this becomes your basis - you expect someone you don't know to talk a certain way. Then, when you come back home, you start hearing strangers talking with this broad Australian accent and for a while at least, this comes as a bit of a shock. As it's a bit of a shock, you giggle when you hear it. Strangely, your friends and family, whose voices you are used to, don't seem to have the same strong accent. (With the exception of Tim's brother James - "G'day you've rang James and Bryce, leave ya numba afta the tone and wi'll get back t'ya".)
Finally, the issue of whether the experience of living in the States has changed us need to be addressed. - Naturally the experience has changed us. Tim, for example, is now much better at typing! There have been other changes, Kajsa is still off shopping (due to her experiences in Kohls), Kalle still has traces of an American accent (Oh, man!) and Taltarni, well, she is actually enjoying life a lot more in Australia.
Taltarni, as some may recall, is (ahem) stubborn, you could even say willful. In her school in Virginia, this disobedient nature (oops, we said disobedient, better make that "strong-willed") was not appreciated by the teachers and Taltarni was not that happy. In her day-care centre here, she is regarded more as a bit of a larrikin rather than a prime candidate for Ritalin and she is blossoming as a result. Not that she is any more obedient.
Kalle is enjoying being Melbourne, home to his beloved Collingwood, despite the disappointment of seeing a season which commenced with five straight Magpie wins followed by (at present) seven straight losses. He is in a mixed first and second grade class which good considering that he will be going back into a Northern hemisphere school next year (this way he won't miss a year). His reading and maths are coming along very well.
Kajsa went back to work in April, as interposing herself in dysfunctional families and protecting at-risk children is far more relaxing that trying to learn Thai. At first she took a locum position and from there went into a more permanent position (as permanent as you can get under the circumstances).
Tim is just about to start the second semester of Thai having done okay in the first. The price of this study is considerable as, basically, this year he does not have a life. Not to worry, though, six more months and then it will be all over (sort of) and we will be ready to open the next chapter of our lives!
Please continue to the next project - 2001: A Thai Odyssey