The American Adventure - Vol 25

1 - 30 June 99

If you want to go straight to Vol 26, you may do so now!

...

Summer arrived at the beginning of June. Not officially, just effectively with a few very hot days in a row with temperatures in the upper 30s. Washingtonians panicked with schools closing and warnings being issued to people about the risks of being outside in the weather. It was great.

We realised in those days that we really needed to do something about the air-conditioning in Rusty. Unlike the systems most cars, Rusty's air-conditioning blows air all the time, you can't really get it to stop and on these hot days he was pumping quite warm air through and it got quite unpleasant inside.

Anyway, Tim spent the first few days of the month on something a little like a holiday at the DMSO Industry Daze (oops, Days). That's the Defense Modeling and Simulation Office's big annual conference with contractors. Tim went along to so that he could learn some more about the subject. Deadly boring like most of these symposia but as it was only a couple of miles up the road and the sessions started late and ended early, at least it was relaxing.

Of course it would have been a little more like a real holiday if the car arrangements were better. Meike needed the car on the first day, so she dropped Tim off and he walked home in the heat. Yes, that's right he walked home. Oh, hang on, most readers probably know about that ancient form of transportation. Unlike the locals.

When you walk from somewhere like Tysons Corner along Leesburg Pike (Route 7), you really begin to understand how the system is geared exclusively towards cars. They don't have footpaths, they don't even have sidewalks. They don't have pedestrian crossings and there is no timing factor taken into account at traffic lights so that pedestrians can have a little longer than half a second to get across the road without having SUVs barrelling towards them. (SUVs are Sports Utility Vehicles, what would be known as 4WDs in Australia - but tend to be bigger and are in plague proportions here in the US.) So, just crossing the road is a harrowing experience.

When you do get to the side of the road that you want to walk along, there is nothing to walk on except the shoulder of the roadway which is liberally sprinkled with shattered windscreen, Coke cans and McDonalds wrappers. Well, that is not quite true. There is the occasional sidewalk. At a few points along the Pike, there are stretches of sidewalk. Unfortunately, they start in the middle of nowhere and go nowhere (that is, another bit of nowhere a hundred metres down the road). The bit of path that Tim was able to walk on isn't even close to the road. You have to trudge through swaths of long grass to get to it and, when it comes to an abrupt end after a ridiculously short distance, you have to trudge through more swaths to get back to the road. Really there is no benefit to be gained by walking on the path other than it is totally smooth (due to the fact that Tim was probably the first ever person to actually walk on it). Nevertheless, Tim was stubborn enough to use the path for no better reason than because it was there.

He did note that all that the builders of this stupid bit of pathway seem to have effectively done is smother an otherwise perfectly viable bit of wildflower meadow for no apparent benefit what-so-ever. Now if the path was connected to other bits of path which could be walked along or ridden on for a proper distance then you would have a completely different situation.

Our suspicion is that the paths are built by construction firms who do so because it is in the contract. "Build here and you must provide a sidewalk." No matter that the sidewalk is useless and that the council will never get around to joining all the little chunks up. It appears to be another example of the blatant stupidity of the over-privatised United States. Oops, that almost sounded political, better get back to the story.

After walking on the little chunk of footpath, Tim was wandering along by the side of the road and noticed that it really was quite nice once you got used to the litter. There were vast expanses of honeysuckle and lots of vegetation. At one point Tim surprised the heck out of a groundhog. The groundhog was just sitting there a couple of feet from the rush-hour traffic minding its own business. It was obviously not used to seeing naked humans, that is, ones that aren't in a car. The little fellow was not even aware that Tim was there until the lost moment, at which point he bolted. A little later Tim also shocked a rabbit. It is really quite amazing how many animals live happily right next to a major thoroughfare - they obviously have a lot more road sense than wombats.

That evening we all went to the water-park, the first of many visits for the month. The kids got to go almost every day, either with Meike, Kajsa or, less frequently, Tim. Kalle is really coming on in his swimming and doesn't use his "green thing" anymore (a floatation backpack). Taltarni is fearless in her floaties and will probably be able to swim soon as well, she just seems to have picked it up naturally.

We were able to get Rusty in for repairs to the airconditioning the next day. When they checked the system, they found that all the gas had escaped and that the cause was a puncture in the condenser, which sits in front of the radiator. In other words, the gas had escaped in January after Meike had had her little accident and the idiots at Peacock Buick hadn't thought to check it when they had Rusty in repairs. Fortunately we were able to get the airconditioning system replaced under a revision to the insurance claim so it didn't cost us anything but it did mean that the car was out of commission for an extra day.

Soon after Tim got home, in a taxi (the lazy bugger, his excuse was that it was still hot), we all went next door for dinner with Jill and David. Kajsa went for a walk first, nominally with Jill, while Tim did a few things before heading over to help with the cooking. It was a bit of a disaster as Jill gave up on the walk because Patrick was playing up and she came back to cook dinner but, as she is a vegetarian, she had no idea how to cook meat so Tim was drafted as head chef.

David's mom and Henry (her boyfriend) were visiting for the week and we had a very interesting conversation with Henry. Henry was actually born German, Heinz is his real name. He was able to give a great perspective on living in Germany during the Second World War as he had been sent back to Germany from America in a citizen exchange when hostilities broke out in 1941. He was lucky not to have been called up. Apparently his draft papers had been sent to Berlin to be reviewed because he said that he had signed a non-aggression document when he left the US and had stated that he intended to return to the United States once the war was over.

Later, after the war, he met a lawyer who had been in the Wehrmarcht who told him that the non-aggression document would have been ignored by the German authorities. So why wasn't he called up? They had probably lost his papers in a bombing raid. Apparently it happened all the time. Anyway, it was very interesting to hear from a person who had lived the first years of his life in America and had first hand experience of Nazi Germany and post-war West Germany (and some second hand experience of East Germany).

Kajsa had the next day off and took the opportunity to take the kids to a lake near Helena and Thor-Björn's house. This is a private lake that is fenced off and patrolled by a life-guard. It was very pleasant to swim in. The kids had a great time and didn't get any leeches or ticks. When they got back, Katya took us all to Champps. It seems that Champps is very popular amongst the 19-21 year old crowd, Julia certainly liked the place! Anyway, it is a big sports bar/restaurant that turns into a bit of a night club later on in the evening. That evening there was going to be karioke and the plan was for Katya to stay there with Meike after dinner, to laugh at all the terrible singing.

Like so many of the restaurants in the US, the servings were ridiculously "generous". We were foolish enough to cave in to cajoling from the waitress to take an appetiser. With that and the bread and the constant drink refills, we were full before the main meal arrived. The appetisers were big. The mains were huge. Kajsa's was so large that it would have easily fed the whole family (including Meike, if it wasn't for the fact that it had chicken in it). When we left, we were stuffed full and carrying doggie bags!

America has a bizarre (and somewhat short sighted) attitude when to paying for things. They love the idea of "user pays" and seem to hate taxes.

We realise that everybody would prefer not to pay taxes but some of us are aware that we do get some benefit out of paying these taxes. Americans, on the other hand, seem to think that the only reason for the Government to tax people is because the Government is entirely staffed by bastards.

So, Americans like to "pay as you go" and this applies not only to things that would make some sort sense but to just about everything, including schools. And not just state schools but also private schools such as Town and Country. Entry fees are kept low (similarly, funding to state schools is low) but parents pay through the nose for the rest of the year at things like bake sales and book fairs and other money raising events.

The schools also rely heavily on the assistance of parents thoughout the year. Fortunately, our contribution wasn't too onerous (or expensive). We helped by doing things along the lines of going into Kalle's class to talk about our respective countries. Kajsa also went in to read a couple of times.

Towards the end of the first week in June, Town and Country held a special Volunteer's Breakfast for all the parents who helped. It consisted of a spread of normal breakfast stuff - coffee, danishes and donuts - and we were presented with a little certificate of appreciation. Well, we weren't exactly presented with it, we had to shuffle through a pile of certificates and find the one with our names. But we got a certificate.

On reflection, one benefit of not paying for all school services up front is that we wouldn't have got the donuts. Swings and roundabouts.

That evening we had the next-door neighbours (David, Jill, David's mother and Henry and the kids) over for dinner. Tim impressed himself with a really nice prawn dish that was quite popular (adapted from a recipe in the Australian Heritage Cookbook which fortunately did not call for gravy making). Katya also left that evening, so Meike was a little sad.

While Swedish School in the basement was over, there was one last gasp for the Swedish School for Children. The end of semester party. Luckily it was a beautiful day because it was held outside in Carderock National Park (across the water from the Great Falls National Park). This was a nice location apart from the fact that the area where the party was held was infested with poison ivy.

Poison ivy is not just the green woman with red hair who has a thing for the man in a big black codpiece. There is a plant called poison ivy which can cause a number of nasty reactions. Some people just come out in hives, big red itchy spots. Others can be hospitalised with breathing difficulties. We can say with great confidence that Taltarni does not react to poison ivy (unlike her father) because she was walking around clutching a handful of the stuff for a while, until Tim noticed and made her drop it.

The end of semester party included a tips promenad (Swedish trivia walk) and some singing. The trivia walk was one of these things where you walk from station to station and fill out a form with answers to various questions.

We have them in Australia but, despite the fact that Tim can remember going on one at school he can't remember what they are called. The only thing that Tim can remember is that the walk was supposed to end with a barbecue but the line for the hotplates was too long so he ate his steak raw. Yummy yummy.

After that there was the singing, Kalle was standing out front of the choir with his little shadow standing next to him, copying everything he did. Taltarni had no idea what they were supposed to be doing but if Kalle had just done it then that was good enough for her.

When that was over, there was the presentation of tokens of appreciation and we scored some prizes! The Swedish School in the basement crowd had got together and bought us some really nice lamp/candle thingies. They burn an open flame like candles but the flame is fed by an oil soaked wick that protrudes from a coloured glass bulb (one blue, one green). Very nice. Finally, as is essential for a truly Swedish event, we fikade (had coffee and cakes and biscuits).

The rest of the day was taken up with Kajsa working and Tim taking the kids to the pool. Sunday was basically a continuation in that Kajsa worked and, later in the afternoon, Tim took the kids back to the pool. Some helpful advice for when you are taking kids to the pool. Don't forget to take towels. The only way you can get the kids out the water is to wait until they have been in there so long that they are starting to turn blue with cold. Then they get very miserable while you wait for them to dry off and warm up in the sun.

Because Kalle's birthday falls during summer vacation, he was assigned a special "unbirthday" to celebrate at school. He got the date one month before his big day, ie 9 June. We went into school that afternoon bearing cup-cakes and a book to read to the kids. Kalle was extremely excited and very proud to have both his parents come in and see him in class. Tim read "The Magic Schoolbus in the Time of the Dinosaurs", or at least he tried to. So many of the kids had the book at home that the story was basically recited to him. Once story reading was over, it was time to eat cake and sing happy birthday after which, with perfect timing, it was time to go home. It occurs to us that this might be the last year that Kalle will be proud to have his daggy old parents coming to see him at school. We'll see.

It was actually a very big week for the kids. They went to the pool every day, Kalle had his unbirthday and also a field day on the Friday. The field day was a sort of track and field meet, with various sporting events like a bean-bag relay and something that required balloons. Kalle won a medal, along with all the other kids, for enthuastic participation. The biggest event of the month, though, happened later that day.

Jeanette Carroll, the Community Liaison Officer at the Embassy had pulled off a real coup. The Wiggles were in country for a few performances in Williamsburg (a couple of hundred kilometres south) and Jeanette managed to pursuade them to visit the Embassy for a "meet and greet" with the local kids. At first it was going to be no more than a session where they would say hello to the kids and sign autographs but the Wiggles consented to putting on a little performance in the Embassy Atrium. The kids loved it. The best thing about it was that they got to be close, so much closer than at the concerts that Kajsa had taken the kids to before. They were no more than five metres from their idols.

After a bit of Wiggling, the guys stopped for some photo opportunities and autograph signing. Tim took Taltarni up and it seems that Anthony Wiggle is her favourite (the one in blue). He was the one that she wanted to meet and none of the others would do. Just to keep the excitement at fever pitch, we then took the kids to McDonalds. (Oh and that was also Tim's last day in the office for the month.)

For anyone who is interested, Dorothy the Dinosaur is really cute when she wiggles out of her costume. And talk about limbre!

The following weekend was pretty quiet. Kalle had his last game of soccer for the season, but only just. Tim had forgotten all about it and he made a mad dash with the kids for the field, getting there for the last few minutes of the game. Luckily, Kalle managed to score a goal so he was happy even if he played for little more than five minutes.

Tim took the kids down to the lake to check out the progress of the goslings a little later in the day. They were almost the size of their parents but didn't yet have adult plumage. The family that had only two goslings seemed to have been struck with more tragedy, they only had the one gosling left. Some fox or dog or snapping turtle must have had a tasty snack at some stage. While they were down by the lake, Tim noticed that one of the squirrels was acting very strangely, running around in tight circles and doing somersaults then racing a little way up a tree, back to where it started from and then beginning the sequence again. It seemed to be oblivious to its surroundings and Tim was a little worried that it was rabid. Fortunately, it eventually got its act together and ran away when it finally noticed the presence of Tim and the kids. Still, seeing something like this means that we need to keep an eye on the local animals and try to make extra sure that Tasha doesn't get out, just in case there is a local outbreak of rabies.

While Tasha hasn't got out for at least a week or so (she's very quick to disappear if you take your eye of her when she's with us out on the front lawn), she was able to munch on a little of the local wildlife recently. Kajsa took her for a walk one day and Tasha made a quick leap, nuzzled in the grass and before you could say "What are you doing, Tasha?", she had killed a chipmunk. None of us had seen a chipmunk this year, up that point, so it was little sad that Tasha killed the first of the season! We just have to hope that she doesn't eat anything that is rabid.

Tim spent the birthday of our beloved Queen doing chores for Kajsa. Kajsa spent it at work. Tim was a little surprised to see that the powers that be have yet again missed an opportunity to present him with a medal for services to Queen and country. Perhaps they are waiting for Australia Day, because they want to present it to him in person and that's why he has to get home so urgently in January next year. It would certainly explain a lot of things.

After skiving off on the Queen's Birthday, he managed to skive off at a Computer Expo for a couple of days. Talk about Techie Overload - computers as far as the eye could see and masses and masses of geeks with pocket protectors. Still, there were a lot of good give aways and Tim was able to pump the Microsoft guys for some useful information on a couple of little problems with the home computer!

On Thursday, while Kajsa was off at work, Tim took the kids to Kalle's soccer party. At the last game, Tim was offered directions on how to get to the restaurant where they were having the bash. In accordance with his male perogative, Tim declined, saying that he'd work it out. For that reason, Kalle was very late to the party after being driven around Tysons Corner by his increasingly frustrated father for about forty-five minutes. Eventually, just as Tim was about to give up, Kalle saw Fuddruckers and all was saved.

Fuddruckers is another of the rare American Hamburger chains. Not a bad one really. They are also home to the Hamburger with the Lot, which Tim ordered. He didn't read the small print and was astounded when he was presented with a hamburger that had a whole pound of meat in the centre. It was certainly tasty but was completely unfinishable. He was barely able to eat half of it (which he did in another testosterone charged bout of stuborness).

Kajsa worked during the day on Friday and then, in the evening, we headed off to Sweden.

Not that getting out of the country was without trauma. Taltarni had been a little snuffly for a few days prior and had not slept well the night before. To be on the safe side, Tim took her to the doctor. After an inspection and a few worried looks, the doctor announced that Taltarni had pneumonia. She wondered why Tim hadn't brought her in earlier. - She wasn't really sick until yesterday. It seemed like a cold.

They talked about the condition, it could be viral or bacterial but she would be infectious for a few days in either case, need to keep her coughing to shift the phlegm, here a brand of expectorant to purchase, etc. Tim asked the doctore whether there was anything we shouldn't do. She looked at him strangely for a moment and then said "Oh, you mean other than fly to Sweden?" 

She then called in three nurses who gave Taltarni two gigantic injections in her little bottom (one to hold her down, two to give the injections simultaneously with Tim at her head lying to her, - It's alright, Taltarni, it's alright).

Taltarni screamed blue murder and was very sad for quite a while, first crying hysterically and then just biting her lip and fluttering her eyelids.

She was still a bit sick during the first week in Sweden but got steadily better.

Strictly speaking what went on in Sweden in not part of the American Adventure (which allows the author to take a rest for two weeks). To be fair to our faithful reader(s?), we'll give a compact description of what we did.

On the way there, Kalle was very excited about being on the plane. What caught his eye almost immediately was the array of buttons on the armrests. He pointed to the stylised waiter symbol and said "Is this the button for getting a drink?" - Yes, Kalle. You press that when you want a drink.

Without hesitation, Kalle pressed the button and reported manner-of-factly to Tim: "I'm going to get a drink!" Not good timing when the plane has only recently started boarding. - Wait, Kalle. We'll order a drink later!

When in Sweden, we spent the first week in relaxed mode and lived with Kajsa's faster (paternal aunt). Our days were, for the most part, unplanned and we: attended Ingela's fortieth birthday (the evening of the day we arrived), saw and patted the cows, saw and patted the kittens, collected worms, went fishing, walked around, slept in late everyday, stayed up late everyday, ate potatoes (everyday), ate sill (various forms of pickled herring), picked and ate strawberries, picked and ate wild strawberries, got amazed at just how light it is at midnight (you can still red in the sky from sunset at 11:30), brought in the hay, drove tractors, drove a tractor too fast and buggered one of the hay trailers when bouncing over the paddock (actually only Tim did this), played with the dogs, went swimming in the lake, went shopping, found a little tiny lizard on the road at 11 in the evening, saw lots deer and fawns and frequently fikade (drank coffee and ate kaffebröd [cakes and biscuits you eat with coffee]).

At the end of that week, Vrena held a Midsommarsfest (Midsummer fair) which included raising of a majstång (a form of Maypole), singing and dancing around said majstång, various raffles, stalls (including one where you could buy a ready made fika) and a tips promenad. Strangely enough, despite the country and the time of year, there was no wild naked revelry. Perhaps that happens elsewhere. Tim did get quite a few looks from the local women. They were checking him out and trying to work out who he was related to. Vrena is a small village and genetic separation beyond first cousin is quite rare. Some of the less, how should we say - "affected", recognised the potential that he represented "fresh blood" and Kajsa kept a close eye on him.

(It should be stated that while Vrena is the nearest village to Vevelsund, the Wevel family is not of the same genetic stock. In fact, the Wevel family has been outbreeding for generations and it should now be obvious to all why Kajsa made such a long trip to find a husband. Not just one trip mind you, not just two, but three visits. The first primarily to scout the area - including a check of New Zealand, a second to see what she could get (unsuccessful) and one final, desparate attempt to hook whatever she could. Travel from Sweden to Australia is not inexpensive and the level of desparation that she must have felt during this last foray is readily apparent.)

While at the fair, Uffe (a brother-in-law) talked Tim into trying the tips promenad. Unlike the one at the Swedish School end of semester bash, the trivia in this one was hard and included such gems as "What is a klenät?", "What is the name of the railway line that runs through Vrena?", "How many table tennis championship's has some bloke won?" and, for a bonus question, "Vrena was highly placed in the national table tennis championship (fourth from memory and Jenny Ohlsson Wevel was on the team), how many teams started?" With a bit of help from Kajsa, Hasse's mother (Hasse is the other brother-in-law) and Uffe and with some strategic guessing, Tim was able to answer all the questions. He did quite well actually. He actually won first prize - a travel bag. This may have been some sort of coded message: "Here you go, smarty pants. Now you have a travel bag, so go and travel somewhere!" Anyway, Tim was exceedingly pleased with himself. It almost made up for the shame he felt about breaking the hay trailer.

The second week (when we moved to Birgitta's) was a little more busy with visits including one to Nyköping to see a children's play of Käjsarens Nya Kläder (The Emperor's New Clothes). The kids really enjoyed it. We also went to a big animal park (Kolmården) which was also home to Bamses Värld, a micro-theme park based on Bamse, the world's strongest (and nicest) bear. The whole thing was excellent and completely un-Americanised (which unfortunately meant no rollercoasters). One part that was very much enjoyed by all was the dolphin show, for which the park is world famous (Kolmården was the first park to have a dolphin born and survive in captivity). The next day we headed off to Sagolandet (Story Land). This is a place where they have set up little cottages with themes from the stories of Hans Christian Anderssen, the Brother Grimm and others, so there was Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood and so on. Again it was a huge success with the kids.

Interspersed with these events were visits to friends and relatives, going out to a restaurant (a rare event in Vevelsund), flying in a little four seater plane over Vevelsund and environs. Kajsa even managed to sneak off to ride a horse. Finally, we had a little early birthday party for Kalle and Taltarni at which they all got a bunch of presents. Even Tim managed to score a couple of prizes!

The next morning, with much crying and last minute hugs, we set off and flew back to America.