The American Adventure - Vol 17

1 - 31 October 98

If you want to go straight to Vol 18, you may do so now!

...

We were certainly busy in the first part of the month although, for the life of us, we can no longer remember everything that we were doing. Important stuff, we are sure. Thursday night - "Mystery" Channel 26. Friday night - watch episode of "Voyager" (UPN 20) that we missed on Wednesday. Saturday night - play on the computer (and clean, respectively). Sunday night - watch episode of "X-Files" (Fox 5). Monday night - "Everybody Loves Raymond" (CBS 9). Tuesday night - play on the computer.

In all seriousness it was probably something more exciting but our brains are wearing out with the constant pressure!

Where memory starts working best is towards the end of the second week when Kalle's class had a harvest potluck dinner. Earlier in that day the whole school had gone to the circus (with free tickets). AHA!!!! Memory for a week prior kicks in ...

For quite a while Kajsa had been regularly dropping hints whenever we saw commercials, flyers or large tents indicating the presence of a circus, "I think that it would be nice to go to the circus!" Tim would give a gentle hint back, *I don't like circuses. I never have." Occasionally he would give a slightly more direct hint. "I have not been to a circus in something like 20 years. I do not want to ever go to a circus again. I would rather go over Niagara Falls in a barrel."

Something like the Fruitfly Circus, which is an acrobatic troupe would be fine, clowns and sad looking animals is right out.

Tim got Kajsa's hint reasonably early - that is, Kajsa wanted to take the kids to the circus. Eventually Kajsa took Tim's hint - fine, take them to the circus but there's no way I'm coming (he really does not like circuses).

As it turned out, Kajsa snuck out and got tickets to the Big Apple Circus (along with Petra). So, on the evening of the first, they all headed out. Tim did get wind of it and was a little concerned that he was going to have to go, as the purchase of the tickets made it a bit of a fait accompli.

Fortunately, Kajsa did not try to force Tim to go. This as fortunate partly because he might have actually gone and enjoyed himself (which he would have to deny, given the years of complaining about circuses) and partly because he was so extremely exhausted that evening that he collapsed into bed almost immediately after getting home. Interestingly enough, Hans was not interested in going to the circus either. Perhaps it's a boy thing.

Anyway, scoot forward a week and we find that Kalle and his school were all given free tickets to the circus so he got to go a second time. In the evening, all the children were tired and excited with all the parents coming to eat dinner in their classroom. It was a reasonably pleasant event. The food was good and, given the circumstances, the kids were well behaved (they only made noise, there was little destruction and violence).

The next night was Prayers at the Embassy, the first that we have attended in a long time. Tim had invited a couple of guests, Ray Fuller from the Navy International Program Office and Lauren Morris from an Unmanned Underwater Vehicle office. There weren't all that many people there but those who were had a good time. After the drinks, we disappeared with a few Embassy people (including Garry and Sheryn Clarke) in the direction of a Thai restaurant for dinner. Actually, we wanted to sneak off to some Japanese or something, anything else than Thai, because of what was arranged for the next day.

Garry Clarke was, until very recently, one of the tame Supply Officers in the Embassy. Because we like them (and because it was our turn in the rotation), we held a farewell for them on the second Saturday in the month (the day following Prayers). You will note that we had been out both of the previous nights, so preparation for the farewell was a bit of a nightmare. Kajsa had prepared some stuff earlier (Tim had even seen fit to help with the manufacture of a vast quantity of Swedish meatballs) and Julia had made some dessert so we had a bit of a head start.

On the actual day, after a night out drinking and cavorting, Tim headed off the Swedish school with Kalle and a horde of Swedish toddlers descended on the house (well the basement actually) with their parents who, being Swedish, demanded coffee and kaffebröd (small eats for consumption with coffee). Tim got back at about half past twelve with Kalle, just as Kajsa kicked the last of the Swedish Preschoolers out.

Then there was a period of major panic during which we had to give lunch to Kalle and Taltarni, prepare food and drinks for about 16 adults and 8 kids, rearrange the furniture, clean up after Swedish Preschool and have showers and change - all before 3pm. Two and a half hours.

Amazingly we had it all done before guests were due to arrive. Unfortunately, we didn't get it all done before the first of the guests actually did arrive. The Guests of Honour, Garry and Sheryn with children, Melissa and Lachlan, arrived about forty-five minutes early, after misreading the invitation. They were actually worried that they were going to arrive late. As we are a very relaxed household, we let them stay. We even gave into their pleas to help us, letting them use the vacuum cleaner to finish the cleaning!

Everybody else arrived in normal time (a little after the set time) and we got the party going. It was actually a very successful event. Kajsa's cooking was excellent (she's not writing this so its not being immodest) and everyone seemed to have a good time. We finally booted the last of the people out (Garry, Sheryn, Melissa and Lachlan) a bit after 10pm.

There is another bit of flashback. Go back to the first weekend in October. There yet? Good. On the Friday night we headed over to Doug Greenlaw and Ann Potter's for dinner. Afterwards, we played pool and they were kind enough not to gang up on us this time. Ann and Tim played Doug and Kajsa. Through superior skill and huge amounts of luck, Tim and Ann thrashed Kajsa and Doug. Fortunately Doug and Kajsa did win one game so the partners were still talking to each other at the end of the evening.

Later, during the weekend we took out a couple of videos. For us there was Gattaga and for the kids we got a Goosestomps (Kalle's demand) and for Taltarni we got Barney's Big Adventure.

The main problem with this is that there were two videos and both of them had to be played first. So, we sent Kalle down to the basement to watch Goosestomps and Taltarni got to watch Barney in the lounge. Now Tim is not a big fan of Barney or Humphrey B Bear or Fat Cat or any of the walking talking stuffed animals (it is just imagination or is Tim getting to be a bit of a grouch (actually he doesn't mind Oscar the Grouch - on the other hand though, Big Bird and Mr Snuffleuffagus are going to be among the very first to be put up against the wall when the revolution comes).

Tim thinks the that best scene in Nine Months is when Hugh Grant is beating Barney up. Unfortunately, though, Kalle wanted Kajsa to sit with him when he watched Goosestomps. So, Tim had to watch Barney with Taltarni (while he cooked). It was an entirely less than pleasant experience (eyuk, eyuk, eyuk, hey hey hey). You would think that this is bad enough. What happened two days later was worse.

Tim came home from work one evening and noticed that there was something different about the TV. Normally the video sits there. The quite expensive, multi-system video that we had bought. Not the cheap video that is part of the furniture rental. The machine just wasn't there.

He checked out behind the TV and found the VCR, on the floor in a few pieces. Somebody, somebody short with blond hair and a high pitch squeal, had tried to push in a certain video into the machine and managed to push the whole unit off from it position on top of the TV set. Barney, the big purple bastard, had effectively broken our video (and it wasn't in our imagination, eyuk, eyuk, eyuk). There was a very, very irate father stomping around that day. Fortunately we were able to get the machine fixed at no more than half of what it cost to purchase in the first place.

It didn't help that she also damaged some other bits behind the TV, thereby ensuring that we missed taping a few, very important, TV shows (like Part III in a five part mystery series).

Back to the future. On the Sunday after the Farewell, we just took it easy.

The next event of note was the Naval Reception. This was held on Friday 16 October at the Washington Navy Yard in the Navy Museum. It was a little soiree for the Commodore and about 400 of his closest friends. (Actually we all got to invite a handful of people, the Commodore just had a few extra that he could bring along because he's, like, the boss.) We didn't go straight there, we stopped at the home of Walt and Barbara Littles first. Walt is a Lockheed Martin body and Barbara is the famous one of the pair. We had actually seen her on TV before we came to America in her role as a speaker against the vaccination lobby. It may be hard to explain but let us try.

One of Barbara and Walt's children was severely affected by a reaction to a vaccination, one that was made mandatory by the US Government in a decision that also removed the right of the people to file suits against the manufacturers of the vaccine. There is a Government administered fund which is responsible for compensating those who are adversely affected by the vaccination. We are not sure where the money for that comes from but it certainly seems like there is a substantial backlog of cases to be addressed.

Barbara's main concern is that there is a lack of suitable testing on the part of the pharmaceutical companies. This is partly as a result of the fact that, while they have a duty of care, there are no ramifications for the companies if their vaccination products are not suitably safe. There are certainly problems in the vaccination program, such as in one instance where a family had a series of vaccinations damage three children - there are no checks to protect the siblings of children who have already been damaged by a particular vaccination (which one would assume would be an indicator of higher than average risk).

As the vaccinations were mandatory by law, the parents were not offered any alternative. As the pharmaceutical companies are in business for money not out of the goodness of their hearts, the doctors were not offered any alternative either. There is a concern that some of the vaccination products are railroaded by commercial interests, without sufficient testing. This is a position which is contested, but it must be hard as a parent who has to deal with the worst case scenario to accept that the testing is sufficient and that your child is one of a very small number who must suffer in the interests of the many.

Kajsa and Tim's viewpoints are close to being in alignment with each other but possibly not that close to Barbara's. We basically believe that it is in the interests of society as a whole to vaccinate against diseases, where the effects of epidemics of such diseases would be significantly worse than vaccination. That is, if 1 in 20000 children are handicapped by a vaccination but 10% of children getting the disease would be handicapped or die (most likely including the child who reacted to the vaccination included as the reaction indicates low tolerance to the disease), then vaccination is in order.

However, we do believe that it is the Government's responsibility to ensure that those parents whose children are adversely affected (the hypothetical 1 in 20000) are compensated for what is effectively their sacrifice for the good of the rest of society. Unfortunately, over here at least, this does not always happen and parents of handicapped children are not adequately compensated.

Also, we are not sure that the manufacture of these vaccines should be allowed to be a cash cow for pharmaceutical companies. This provides incentives for these companies to rush though products (especially given that they have a certain level of immunity) and disincentives to produce other methods of combating the problem (especially less expensive options).

The money associated with the manufacture and distribution of vaccines (and other medicines) is phenomenal, as evidenced by their lavish marketing efforts (how many dinners per month , Dr Helena?) At the risk of sounding socialistic, perhaps these companies should be run on a non-profit basis or, at the very least, with much more regulation. (We don't mind paying the researchers bucket loads of money, you get what you pay for, but get rid of the shareholders who force a company to have the forward vision of a mole.)

Hm. Anyway ...

We went to chez Littles and had a drink and some very pleasant company and then rushed off to the reception (for which we were about 30 minutes late ... oops!) The evening from then on was extremely quick. Kajsa and Tim were quickly separated by the crowd and kept apart by the flow of people wanting to engage them in conversation (work stuff mostly for Tim and flirting for Kajsa). Kajsa managed to stay close to the bar so, despite prior arrangements, Tim, who only got to the bar twice, decided that he should drive home.

This was a good decision as Kajsa managed to repeat her previous performance at last years Naval reception and got totally plastered. By the end of the evening, we were among the last six who staggered out at around midnight, Kajsa was almost literally swinging from the exhibits (and from the necks of some of the larger guests - including Ray Fuller who is about Paul Mulcahy's height (6'4"?) but about twice as wide, mostly muscle - luckily he is a really nice guy, otherwise Tim would have had to have asked him to step outside).

After Kajsa managed to break her high heel (without actually noticing the fact) we decided to call it a night and went home. A little later in the evening, Kajsa swore off alcohol for the rest of her life. She repeated the promise the next morning when she had Swedish Preschool and again when she headed off to work. Surprisingly she managed to survive the day.

As you will have astutely noticed, this was one of Kajsa's work weekends. When she works a weekend, she normally starts in the early afternoon on Saturday and works through until about 11pm. On the Sunday, she starts early and works through until about 5pm.

On this particular Sunday, she was supposed to start at 8am from what Tim could remember when Kajsa got up (he was a little tired as usual). Things were a little blurry for him that early in the morning and Taltarni was sleeping, so he tried to get some extra sleep. He woke up a little when he heard Kajsa leaving and, about the same time, he heard the curséd Barney on TV, he glanced at the clock which said 8 something.

Taltarni was still sleeping so he fell back to sleep. When Taltarni woke up, the day started in earnest. The most important thing to do on a Sunday morning is to get the paper and weed it out (toss away the sports section, and the business section and all the brochures, clip out the useful coupons, read the comics and then start on weeding out the rest). The TV guide comes on Sunday and it is important to check if there are any good movies on that need to be videotaped.

As Tim checked this he noted that Barney was on at 9am, not 8am. Aha. The clocks have changed. Kajsa must have known and gone at the right time (Tim had thought that she was very late). So, he went around the house and changed all the times. He wondered why there was no big notice in the paper about the time change, and, if he had got on the computer, he would have been surprised to note that the time did not change automatically as it is supposed to. As it was he didn't.

He was very surprised when Kajsa came home an hour early (at 5pm Tim Time). Kajsa was a bit surprised that dinner hadn't been started (at 6pm Everybody Else Time). You see, the clocks weren't going to change until the following week. Kajsa was supposed to have started work at 9am (hence a 8am departure) and the time for Barney was just plain wrong as calculations would show (if it was 9am when Kajsa left she would have been two hours late for work). The Sunday brain - good for watching football, no good for actual thinking.

On Monday, Tim had a rather unpleasant day (just lots of little things including AOL getting up to its usual tricks). He was happy to get home and was looking forward to the first Monday night together with Kajsa in a very long time. That expectation lasted about half an hour. No-one was home so he started to cook dinner. Julia was off with the kids because Kalle had his soccer practice, but normally they would get home some time around 6:30.

6:30 came and went and Kajsa got home around 7pm, surprised to find that the kids weren't back. Eventually Julia turned up, but without Rusty (the car). She couldn't get him to start so she had abandoned him at soccer practice and made her way home without him. Tim had a sneaking suspicion that the problem had something to do with the automatic transmission (an automatic car won't start if it isn't in the right gear). He wasn't that worried, just a little frustrated at the timing and he was eager to rescue Rusty quickly so that they could get back home in time to see one of our staple comedy shows. We finished dinner and set out.

What an evening! There is a little road between two major roads that most of the readers will not know the names of anyway that we had never been on before. We went up and down that stupid little road about ten times that evening. We were sick of that road. It wasn't the transmission, the car was in the correct gear, it was just that the battery was completely flat. We had managed to find a shop that sold jumper cables (called something else here, of course, starter leads perhaps) and managed to get the cars oriented so that we could use Baldrick (the black car, Tim's first ever sedan) to get Rusty going (Baldrick's battery is in the boot). No dice.

Part of the problem was that it was very dark by this time and there were few lights around. We couldn't be certain that we had the terminals set up correctly. We did some fiddling and Tim got it set up so that he was pretty sure that it was okay (you know, no huge balls of flame as hydrogen gas is ignited by large sparks due to reversed polarities). Still no joy. Another problem was that because of Baldrick's rear end battery, we had to stand in his exhaust, breathing in those sulphur fumes which seemed to be quite strong.

Anyway, we decided to head off to buy a torch. We stopped at a few service stations (actually gas stations since service seems to be a foreign concept) but had no success there. Kajsa got a few strange looks - "What do you want a torch for?" For light, we have a flat battery. "Why don't you use a flashlight?" - Aha, a torch is a piece of burning wood that you hold on your way up to Frankenstein's castle, the thing with batteries is a flashlight. "Sorry, we don't have any flashlights either." We gave up on gas stations and tried a drug store. Success - and a very nice looking torch, oops, flashlight it was indeed. It worked very nicely after we worked out how to put the batteries in. Back to the car.

Hm, it still smells of sulphur. Perhaps there is something wrong with Baldrick. When we got Rusty's bonnet (hood) open and looked at the battery we saw the source of the problem. The battery was starting to leak. For those of you even more ignorant about cars than we are, car batteries are filled with lead and sulphuric acid. Pretty bad stuff.

If the sulphuric acid leaks out this is defined as "a bad thing". The usual next step is the battery gets extremely hot and explodes. As it was the battery was already extremely hot as Tim found out when he disconnected it (which probably stopped it from melting internally).

We headed back to the shop where we got the jumper cables. We bought a new battery (the right size and shape this time. Wolfgang lived the last few years of his life with the wrong shape battery held cunningly in place with a piece of wood), some tools (actually a shifting spanner) and a few rags (Tim once had a pair of very new - second time wear - jeans that ended up with numerous little holes in them after Wolfgang's battery leaked acid all over them. When they talk acid wash, they're not talking sulphuric acid). We got back in Baldrick and headed back again.

Tim doesn't really swear that much. He does sometimes at golf, not that it seems to help. Apart from that he's well behaved. Not this evening, as he struggled with the adjustable and the battery and the stupid bolts and the cramped conditions and the light which was always in his face or lighting up the battery but rarely where he needed it.

After half an hour in the dark and cold (and a few attempts by Kajsa to do it with her smaller hands and greater resources of patience) we gave up and decided that the only way to do it was with a real tool kit. Unfortunately, Kajsa is the handy person in the house and Tim had not yet got around to buying her a toolbox for Christmas or a birthday.

(Actually, that is not completely true, Tim is known as Mr Fixit. Once, when a bulb blew in the house while Tim was at sea, Kalle said confidently to Kajsa, "Don't worry mamma. Pappa will fix it." If there is stuff like painting, woodwork or any type of gardening to be done (with the possible exception of rose trimming) - Kajsa's your man. Tim handles the electrical, mechanical and plumbing stuff. Car stuff gets done by Mr NRMA or the service centre.)

Fortunately, Tim gets a lift in to work each day with Scott the Tool Man. He is a guy who actually fixes real stuff such that it stays fixed and even makes the occasional thing that doesn't fall apart (Tim is quick to point out that he can put a computer together if given the right bits and a few nudges in the right direction).

Scott, in addition to his other charms, also has a couple of tool-boxes. He was kind enough to lend the smaller of the two to Tim for the day. It was quite lucky that he was not feeling generous enough to loan the larger of the two because the little one was heavy. Inside was a huge array of things, including a socket set that allowed Tim to change the battery in Rusty in less than ten minutes (with no swearing).

With this major technological feat accomplished, Rusty started like a dream. A quick visit to an auto electrical shop confirmed that there was no problem with the car's electrics (just an old and tired but newly replaced battery) and we were able to continue with life.

Rusty's repair was actually very important because four days later we took another trip up to New York.

The trip up wasn't that bad considering that we did not sleep well the night before, partly because Taltarni threw up all over her bed in the middle of the night. Tim had taken the Friday off so that we could get up to New York with enough time to actually do some stuff (it is a long drive, at least four hours).

As we had started early and were making good time we decided to eat somewhere nice, rather than at one of the bland rest-stops that you pass every 25 miles or so. One of the first places that Tim visited when he got to the US Was Moorestown, New Jersey. He went up there with an Australian Navy Captain in tow (alright, Tim was the one in tow, not the Captain). We took the train up and were picked up by a Lockheed Martin representative who took us out to a really beautiful restaurant in a town called Medford.

Tim had thought for a long time that it would be nice to visit that little town with Kajsa and have dinner at the restaurant. So, as we were in the region, he tried to find his way back using little more than memory. Naturally he got well and truly lost and we spent about half an hour looking at the same bunch of cows as we drove past them in different directions. Embarrassingly, he had to stop and ask some grease monkey how to find the town.

Alls well that ends well and we eventually did find the town and made it to the restaurant in time for lunch which was very pleasant. It was not quite as romantic as the candlelight dinner he planned given that we were travelling with Petra, Hans, Julia, her friend Amelie and the kids. Anyway we finally got to the Navy Lodge on Staten Island at around five in the afternoon. There is a world famous Staten Island Ferry (which we are sure everyone has heard about) that takes people from (surprisingly) Staten Island over to Manhattan. During the weekend we managed to miss the ferry by less than a minute five times, starting with our attempt on Friday evening. It is very frustrating to get to the terminal just in time to see the doors close, knowing that the next ferry will be in half an hour's time.

By the time we actually got in we had limited time in the city so we decided to stay in the very southern-most tip of Manhattan. We only got as far north as the World Trade Center buildings while we wandered around pretty aimlessly (us here being the real us, Julia and Amelie were having a little nap, exhausted as they were from all that being a passenger in a car stuff and Hans and Petra (sans kids) had gone to an old favourite Chinese restaurant to eat Peking Duck - shouldn't that be Beijing Duck now?).

On the way back to the ferry terminal we made a visit to the very special Wall Street McDonalds (the one which has a running readout of the latest stock prices so brokers can stay in touch while gulping down a burger). We had heard about the store a long time ago and were tricked by the description, while it really is the McDonalds associated with Wall Street it is actually located on Broadway, a couple of blocks north of Wall Street. While it is good in some sort of indescribable way to be able to say "We have been to New York and eaten at the McDonalds associated with Wall Street!" there is little else to make going there special, the food is the same except that it is about 50% more expensive. We were hoping that they would throw in a McDonalds share (one share with every Value Meal, two if you super-size it!) but very bitterly disappointed.

When were finished we noted that it was only about ten minutes until the next ferry would leave so we began making a mad dash back. We ran and we ran. Kalle ran strongly, Kajsa ran strongly, Tim ran strongly and Taltarni sat in the stroller and laughed. When we finally got to the top of the ramp up to the terminal we were just a little too late to see the doors close. So, rather than having a leisurely stroll and a twenty minute wait, we had a full half an hour to wait and recover from the all the exertion.

Everyone must have pitied us because we were given stuff as we sat there, a guy came up and gave the kids a stuffed toy each and woman next to us gave them flowers out of the bouquet she had. At first we were very suspicious of the man, thinking that he was going to come back and ask to be paid for the toys which would have been a very effective piece of emotional blackmail. Then we were worried that there might have been something wrong with the toys, we very paranoidly felt them to make sure that there was nothing sharp in them and nothing hidden inside the lining.

It is sad that we have been turned into these paranoid types who suspect people's intentions. This comes from having people try to sell you things every single second of the day, most phone calls to our house are either for Julia or from people trying to get us to change telephone companies. Tim doesn't have to deal with as many beggars as he did before (due to the fact that he goes in by car most of the time) but there are still a few that come up demanding money at various times.

When we noticed that Taltarni had a flower we started telling her off before the woman explained that she had given it to her. Both Kalle and Taltarni were pretty happy with their haul! We began to get a little worried when on the ferry ride back because Kalle threw up a little. It must have been those overpriced burgers because he was healthy from then on. Taltarni was another story.

We didn't bother getting up really early on Saturday. We had a relaxed morning, well as relaxed as we could be. Before we set out for New York Tim called the Lodge and asked if we could have a cot, as we had a young child. The people at the lodge said fine, no problem, we'll have a cot ready for you. When we got to the Lodge, the people at the reception asked if we had asked for a crib for the baby. Tim said, yes, he had asked for a cot. What we got was a roll-away bed. You see, when you have additional adults in hotel rooms they sleep in cots, babies sleep in cribs. Oh, goody.

Trying to get Taltarni to sleep can be a challenge at the best of times, even in a cot (standard English definition). We hadn't even tried getting her to sleep in a normal bed yet. She spent a lot of the time trying to crawl all over the place, getting out and playing with Kalle who thought it was great fun to be in a hotel. After little sleep the night before, all we wanted to do was get them unconscious as soon as possible. Anyway, first thing in the morning we wanted to sleep and the kids, despite going to bed very late, were ready to party.

When we finally got up we saw that if we left, right now, we would get to the terminal in time for the next ferry. As they were an hour apart at this time in the morning we thought it a good idea to go immediately. This time, Kajsa and the kids were there in time to see the doors slowly closing. Even if they were earlier it would not have helped as Tim was still parking the car.

Kalle was the recipient of that old New York generosity again, being given some chewing gum, a brand new experience for him. Taltarni was not quite herself and, at one point, demanded to be taken to the bathroom - at first she just started trying all likely looking doors but we got the hint. Just as she and Tim approached the restrooms she managed to throw up all over the floor, in a particularly strategic position such that the maximum number of people would traipse through it. Like it is with a lot of kids, Taltarni was entirely unfazed. While she wasn't quite her best she certainly did not seem that ill, so we decided to continue on with our day.

The first thing we did on Manhattan was to take the kids to a playground and burn off some energy. There is quite a good park just a little way off from the terminal. Once they had run around enough (read "their parents got bored"), we walked along the water front. We saw some people fishing, not catching anything but assiduously tending to their rods anyway. We met a Swedish woman and her dog and her American husband. We saw some sort of medical emergency on a Liberty Island ferry and ended up at Fort Clinton (at the northern end of Battery Park). By this time it was time for lunch. During the evening before we had wandered past a few promising cafés so we headed in their direction.

We finally settled on a place that looked less diseased than the rest, they weren't nearly as salubrious in the light, and ordered pizza and some drinks. Taltarni ate and drank well. We know this because of the volume of what she produced a few short minutes later. She managed to spurt Gatorade and semi-digested pizza all over the floor, the table and herself. It reminded us of a memorable night at a Russian restaurant in Dickson, ACT.

That time it was Kalle who was being taken out for the first time with Thammie and Felicia (or as the spell checker suggests, Thermae and Felucca). He seemed to be perfectly normal, if a little more vocal than usual. That is, up until he managed to vomit all over Kajsa, twice. The first time was not too bad, just a few specks here and there that could be blotted off with a napkin. The second time was the killer with a perfect shot into the cleavage. Important safety tip, while breastfeeding, it is a good idea to stick with sensible clothes. Save the evening outfits for when you have a babysitter. A short while later, we walked out with Kajsa wearing a singlet and a mouldy old jacket that Tim had found in Wolfgang.

Taltarni was a bit more nice about it. She didn't manage to get anyone other than herself (and the table) (and the floor). It was about time to go back anyway and, amazingly, we were able to walk straight on to the ferry without rushing. When we got back Taltarni seemed to be fine again (apart from a little accident on the ferry that we won't go into in the interests of good taste) so we felt confident to leave her with Julia while we went out for the evening with Hans and Petra. We quickly got changed and headed back to the ferry terminal where we managed to miss the ferry yet again. Kajsa could have caught it but, again, Tim was parking the car. By this time, we were getting pretty bloody sick of just missing the ferry.

We had planned to catch a train uptown to a hotel just south of Central Park where we were to meet Petra and Hans but as we were already half an hour late we decided that a cab would be a better idea. Only one problem, while cabs seem to be plentiful up around Central Park, they are as rare as hen's teeth at Battery Park. Therefore we had to walk. We headed up towards Broadway and, just where the big brass bull statue is, we found one that was parked on the side of the road. We thought that our luck had changed when we saw the driver come over, get in and turn on the light just as we walked up to it.

Tim leaned in and asked the driver if he was open for business. The driver looked at him with an odd expression and said "You really don't want to get in this taxi." Why's that? "Ah, this isn't a real taxi, pal, this is a stunt car for a movie!" Aha, gotcha. Actually taking the time to look around confirmed that this was the case, the street had been blocked off and there was a section of it a little in the distance that was brilliantly lit up with cameras were all over the place. Perhaps we'll be in the movie!

We walked a little further towards Wall Street and noticed that it was all pretty untidy. The reason for this was that the New York Jets had just recently won something and had had their ticker tape parade that afternoon. When we got to Wall Street we walked along it towards Park Avenue (which goes north, unlike Broadway which has traffic in the southerly direction only in this area) in the hope of getting a cab.

The middle of Wall Street was very busy with limos and spotlights and lots of important looking people everywhere (including Secret Service agents talking into their sleeves). We were able to get a taxi there but were never able to find out what the fuss was about. We have a suspicion that it may have had something to do with Middle East peace process but there is a chance that it just about some corporate takeover of some oil company by another one (this was Hans' theory - less exciting and hence more likely to be true. It didn't explain the Secret Service though).

We met Hans and Petra in the bar of a very swank hotel (the name of which eludes us). They had spent most of their day in New York waiting, first for the tickets to the show we were going to, then for the ferry over to the Statue of Liberty, they avoided the huge queue to go into the Statue but had to stand in line for the ferry back, then they had to wait for a table in the bar and, finally, they had to wait for us. At least they had drinks and peanuts for the last wait. The show we saw was Smokey Joe's Café, basically a compilation of songs by a pair of songwriters that we had never heard of. They wrote "Downtown" and one other famous song - that is, one that was sufficiently famous for us to recognise it.

Because this was our second night out alone(ish) in New York, we should have made the most of it, hit some Manhatten night club and stayed out till dawn. Because we are parents, we grabbed something quick to eat at an Irish pub and slinked back to the hotel. Julia and Amelie were the one's who stayed out to dawn after going out at 1am.

We decided that, as Taltarni was not that well, we would not try to get across to Manhattan again the next day. Instead, we would just drive back home without having to rush. What an astute decision that turned out to be. Kajsa was starting to feel a bit unwell, which was largely attributed (by Tim) to psychosomatic causes. (Taltarni's sick, I'm going to be sick, Oh, I am sick.) In reality, Kajsa's feeling sick was mostly related to her actually being sick. The drive from New York to Washington can be completed in four or five hours, depending on the traffic. That is, if you don't have to stop at every rest stop to throw up. We missed one stop, the one about half an hour from DC. Apart from that one, we visited every single stop on the way. Kajsa did very well and was most courageous about it all, with very little complaining other than the occasional "I wish still had some of those sick bags from when I was pregnant with Kalle!"

There is something ominous about being trapped inside a car with a person who is violently ill, with something that is obviously communicable, for seven hours. It works on your brain. "Am I getting it or do I just feel queasy because of that greasy burger I had for lunch?" Fortunately the sickness went as quickly as it came and by the time we were on the outskirts of Washington, Kajsa was better. By this time, however, Julia and Amelie had both been infected, as became evident the next day. For some reason, Tim and Kalle did not seem to be affected by it (and if Kalle was, it was minor compared with the performances from the girls).

Part of the reason for going home early was that Kajsa would still have time to go out with Kalle and get something for Halloween. The second most important part of Halloween in America, after getting a huge haul of candy, is the costume. Can anyone guess what Kalle wanted to be?

That's right - Batman.

Given that we got home much later than planned Kajsa promised Kalle that she would go with him the next night after soccer practice and get him the "muscly" Batman outfit that he wanted. Going shopping for a five year old's Batman costume on the Monday night before Halloween is not a good idea, in fact it was almost a total disaster. They visited numerous shops and the only costumes that could be found were for twelve year olds. Kajsa was almost in tears. Abnormally, Kalle took it quite philosophically and said that it was alright, he would go as Zorro instead. Kajsa was able to find, after much searching, a Zorro costume for a 7 or 8 year old which seemed to fit okay and Kalle was magically transformed into Zorro. (In case you were wondering, the factor that probably tipped the scales in Zorro's favour was that the costume came with a sword and it did have a cape which is de rigeur for your modern super hero.)

This week was a very important one, not least for Halloween, but also because it was the week that Kalle was the Class VIP. This status is accorded to only the most important children, on a strict rotational basis. With the honour comes the responsibility for looking after Winnie the Pooh, helping the teacher with a whole bunch of things and also, in Kalle's case, having your mother come and read to the class. Kajsa went, early in the week, to read something very scary to the kids. They listened intently, politely pointed out mispronunciations (unlike some rather less polite people she knows) and generally were a lot of fun to be with. Kalle was very proud.

By this point we are in the middle of Halloween week. Buying pumpkins, watching parades (which we did on the Wednesday night with Petra, Hans and their kids) and eating candy and scaring people is what this week is really all about. That said, the most important event in the Washington sporting calendar also happened that week. Yes, that's right the annual, only played twice before (last year and in 1991 or so), Australian Embassy Interservice Golf tournament. Tim was a very important member of the Australian team. Mostly because he was helping raise the handicap (there were three Navy teams all consisting of one good player with a handicap of around 12 and three BAD players with handicaps at the maximum of 27). Tim was helping by being one of the BAD players (actually one of the REALLY BAD players, of which there was one per team. For some reason, although he has really enjoyed the golf that he played in the US, Tim has actually got a lot worse since he got here. This might be due to a brand new concept called "not cheating" which puts an additional 20 strokes onto his score, thereby making it now totally impossible for him to break 100.

WARNING, this golf stuff goes on for a while. It is just about what Tim did, there is no mention of Kajsa or the kids. There is the occasional mention of a birdie. If you want to skip it, click here.

Tim has played a bit recently, including three games that have not been mentioned, one each in the last two months and one earlier this month. The first of these was a very relaxing game. The reason this game was so relaxing was that Tim played with the only person he has ever played with who is worse than him. This reduces the stress unimaginably. He also found about two dozen balls which put an extra shine on the game. There was a down side in that his putting was abysmal, more than a third of his total score of more than 120 (45 putts). For non-golfers, be assured that this is very, very bad. For those of you who are golfers, please stop laughing.

After the game they had a little award presentation for best gross score, best nett, worst score and most number of putts. When the most number of putts was announced the speaker was waving around a putter which was the prize and he started with saying this "I never thought that anyone would ever beat the most number of putts established at this course last year, when Bloggs got 44. Nevertheless, that score has been beaten." Tim was starting to shrink in shame (but was impressed that he was going to win the putter) but the guy continued, "49 is an impressive number of putts." Someone else had been significantly worse, so Tim didn't even get a consolation prize for his pitiful performance.

Glenn Doherty, who was Tim's main source of relaxation during the afternoon, managed to win an umbrella for his amazing score of 140 for the round. There is one quick point that is relevant here. Due to the large numbers of people playing and the limited amount of daylight, we were limited to double par on all of the holes. For the benefit of non-golfers, there is a number of strokes for each hole that is called "par", it is the number of times that you are supposed to hit the ball to get it into the hole.

Your handicap is an indication of how many extra hits, over and above par, it takes you to hit the ball into 18 holes for an entire round. Golf courses, almost without exception, will have a par for the course of 72 - an average of 18 par 4 holes. If you are limited to double par, then for a hole if you get to double the par for that hole, you have to pick the ball up and take a score of no more than twice the par. Look at the figures. Double par for the entire course is 144. While you cannot do worse than that, Glenn did get very close to it with his 140. Fortunately, Glenn is like Tim in that he enjoys the game even if he isn't very good. That may change as he practices and, unlike Tim, he improves.

On the next game, Tim had a beautiful game. It was on a course with lots and lots of water and the theme of the tournament was lost balls. Everyone had to count how many balls they lost and whoever lost the most would get a prize. Someone lost more than twenty balls. One person in Tim's foursome lost a dozen. Tim lost one but found three (so there's one consolation prize Tim wasn't going to win!).

The best part of that game for Tim, though, apart from seeing all the squirrels and the ground hogs and the Canada geese, was on the par 5 when he got a birdie. Again, for those non-golfers, a birdie is when you get the ball in the hole for one less stroke than par. On a par 5 a birdie is 4 strokes. For most players a birdie is no big deal. For a REALLY BAD player, a birdie is amazingly, jump up and down, run around, throw your hands in the air, yell and scream, good. He was walking on air after that (even though the rest of the game could, at best, be described as mediocre).

After that the weather turned so the next game was a little less pleasant. This one was at an Army base and was a competition round, meaning that you counted every stroke, there was no picking up at double par this time. The first few holes did not go that well for Tim. In fact, he was doing very badly. They had started midway on the back nine and eventually got to the first tee. Because this is the hole that you normally start on, he decided that this would be a brand new start, a new game. He'd try to forget the other holes. It worked perfectly. He got a solid par which included a beautiful, facesaving, putt. Given that he had not got close to anything under three over par for the other holes, this engendered some jumping up and down and a little emotion.

It didn't last long. On the next hole, a rather mean par 5, Tim took fourteen (14) strokes to get the stupid ball in the stupid hole. There was a lot of emotion now, and the use of some choice Swedish words that he had picked up from Kajsa. By the last two holes he was thoroughly demoralised and was convinced that he had never had such a bad game before (except perhaps the time when he played on a course with Phil de Chazal and Richard Shumack and took ten chip shots to get the ball on the green while his so-called friends rolled around in the grass holding their stomachs with laughter - the stupid green was set up on top of a hill so if you hit it too hard, the ball would roll down the other side). When the game came to an end there was but one glimmer of hope. He was fervently hoping that his score would be less than 140, Glenn's score two games before. Fortunately, he was short of that wonderful achievement, by 4 strokes at 136. He did have to suffer the embarrassment of posting the worst score of the day, though, with 9 strokes to spare (oh, and for the record, Glenn didn't play that day!)

Anyway, forward to the end of October and the Interservice tournament. The game was held on the course that has the longest hole in the United States (a par 6) and which is set on a historic battlefield (complete with grave sites, a free drop). The game was pretty ordinary all the way, as far as Captain's choice (aka four ball, best ball) goes. Each team had a Captain (the good player) who looked at all the shots and chose the best, the other players would retrieve their balls and play them from the best position and the process would continue. The course was one of the most interesting that Tim has played on and while it was not the most beautiful over all, it had the most attractive hole he has played on. This also happened to be the last hole his foursome played on.

As mentioned before, it is on an old battlefield. There are old buildings and features set around all over the place. Some of the features are built into the course, such as on this hole. There was a little castle thingy looking out across a valley. On top of the castle thingy was the green while the tee was across the valley. In between was a lake. It was a huge pressure hole, if you missed the green, you were most likely in the lake. Tim was convinced that he wouldn't make it over the lake so he chose a 4 iron to hit across (while others used 7 and 8 irons). After watching all the others fall short or go to the side of the castle (and sit below it), Tim whacked the ball and, amazingly, it lobbed onto the green and stayed there. Woohoo.

Then we got into our carts (yes, we all had motorised golf buggies, as we usually do on American courses) and motored across the little bridge and up through a little tunnel to the back of the green. Tim's ball was about four metres from the hole. No other ball was on the green so it was a given that his was the one to be used for this stroke. He walked up to it and gave it a whack in the general direction of the hole. It was a beautiful putt, straight as a very straight thing, straight into the hole. The most beautiful hole Tim has ever played on, he gets a great shot onto the green and then he manages to sink a four metre putt to get YET ANOTHER BIRDIE!!!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!! YEEEEHAAAAARRRRRHHHHH!! There was a lot of jumping around this time and there was no way you could have wiped the idiot grin off of his face. In addition to being a birdie, Tim's shot was the also the last played by the Navy team and was the stroke that put the Navy into a tie with Air Force for first place in the tournament. The tie was resolved in a putt-off (which Tim didn't get to play and which, despite that, the Navy won). Anyway, he was very, very happy. At least, that is until he started off for home when he started getting very, very sick.

The next day was another important event in the Halloween schedule, the Halloween concert and parade at Kalle's school. Each year the kids learn to sing a few songs (including the obligatory "I can't wait till it's Halloween, oooh, oooh") and have a little concert in front of parents. Part of this is to make parents feel really guilty about working so hard to be able to afford to send their kids to the school. This goal is achieved by scheduling the parade in the middle of the day so that normal people can't attend without stuffing up a whole workday. Then they follow this up with a Halloween party, but not straight after the parade. Oh no, three hours later so there is no way you can attend both if you have anything approaching a normal job. Luckily we had organised for Julia go to the party, so (after Tim had drugged himself up to make it through the day) we went along to the parade and concert after which we scurried off to work.

The parade was entertaining, at the very least for Kalle who loved being Zorro. The concert was very much like any kid's concert. The fun bit is seeing your child get up and perform and have the realisation that he or she is growing up. They certainly aren't out to sell platinum records.

The rest of the Halloween weekend (up until late on Saturday, at least) was extremely busy. Tim and Julia took the kids to a "haunted house" on Friday night (Kajsa was working). Taltarni was terrified by it, she clung closely to her pappa and physically shook with her heart racing. Kalle was not quite so bad but he was certainly not interested in going through a second time.

We had a normal morning of Swedish the next day (except that Kajsa was working on an early shift so Julia had to run the Swedish Preschool single-handed and there were lots of people who turned up). Then Tim and Kalle came home and, after Taltarni was put to bed, they carved pumpkins (actually Tim just obeyed instructions, Kalle did all the hard supervising work). By the time that was almost finished, Taltarni had fallen asleep and it was time for the Inaugural Vernon Drive Neighborhood Halloween Parade (with costumes and bikes).

Basically, all the kids came out on to the street with their costumes on, they walked to the end of the road and then walked back again after which we had pizza. The parade was organised (and pizza provided) by Jill and David and was a screaming success. We were astounded that there are so many kids around in the area. We never see them even though there were about two dozen of them. We also got meet adult neighbours that we didn't even know we had. It was a fun afternoon.

Kajsa came home during the pizza eating phase of the afternoon and we headed off to Great Falls Village to do some trick and treating at the shops. After about an hour we had a good haul so we came back home. Then the real fun started. Kajsa got dressed up as a witch and took Kalle and Taltarni trick and treating while Tim stayed at home to give out goodies.

Eventually, they came back with a huge amount of candy, something like an hour and a half after they had left. We quickly gave the kids dinner and rushed out to visit the famous Halloween house in Vienna (the one we had visited the year before, check back then for a description). Unfortunately, the people who lived in the house, decorated it and dressed up as monsters each Halloween had got tired early this year and had stopped the show a short while before we got there. A girl turned the scary lights on and came out and gave the kids some candy but that was about all. A bit disappointing really. Still, there is always next year.

We have huge amounts of candy. There will probably still be some left when Christmas comes around.