The American Adventure - Vol 27

1 - 31 August 99

If you want to go straight to Vol 28, you may do so now!

...

The main topic of conversation all month was the drought. Yes, the Washington area has been suffering a drought and August was the worst month so far. So bad that Maryland actually brought in mandatory water restrictions (although many golf courses and ball parks were given exemptions). In DC and Virginia, the authorities just asked that people try to conserve water. As if that was going to work! Tim liked the idea of the drought because it did have an effect on the speed that the lawn grew. Not that he actually mows the lawn that often, but the less it grows the less chance that he'd get asked to mow.

Unfortunately, our neighbours insist on watering their lawn and, as they are higher than us, the water runs down and we get passively watered. Tim mentioned that David could save a lot of time by not watering but the message didn't seem to go over too well. "But what if the grass dies?" - It's not going to die. "And if it does?" - You never have to mow it!

Anyway, there was much snickering at the Embassy about what constitutes a drought. The consensus was if the grass is still green, it still rains a couple of times a week and there has been a higher than average precipitation during the past year (even if part of it was in snow), it ain't a drought. Kajsa was far more understanding, making hopelessly logical statements along the line of "Australian plants and animals are used to drought conditions and can survive it. The plants and animals here aren't and so, even if there are a lot of things still alive, it is a true drought by their standards." Good argument, until it poured down in the end of the month (bringing the total rainfall to above average for the month and well above for the year) and they still insisted that it was a drought and only a huge hurricane would fix it.

Drought! Ha ha ha ha.

The first event of the month was dinner at the Mosbergs'. We had a very tasty BBQ, mainly because Hans likes to use people coming over as an excuse to go out and get the best cuts of meat. We certainly are not complaining, it was excellent. A couple of Hans and Petra's friends from Canada (who are also living here now) were also there and we spent the evening identifying all the problems in the US, from over-commercialisation (and over-utilization of "z"s, which they can't pronounce properly) to poor funding for schools. We actually talked a lot about schools and education (they aren't necessarily the same thing), partly because both Kalle and Max were about to start First Grade. We came to a conclusion that schools that are too big are bad, especially on smaller kids. We are happy that Kalle can stay at Town and Country where there is only about 150 kids.

During the week we left the kids with Meike and went to Toys R Us to buy Taltarni a couple of birthday presents (which everyone missed, bar Thammie - although mention of his present will have to wait until the month when the present actually arrived). We also seriously looked at a couple of swing/slide sets. They are quite inexpensive here and we were (well, Kajsa was) tempted to buy one. In the end we decided not to, partly as the one we liked wasn't available. The main reason was that we realised that we wouldn't be able to fit it into our yard in Canberra and there are a lot more playgrounds in Australia.

We got Taltarni a little bike, some doll clothes and a hobby-horse. It was a little tough to buy clothes that would both fit the old dolls that Kajsa was going to hand down to Taltarni and look good. Most of the clothes were, um, tacky. Eventually we found some that Kajsa was satisfied with and we could leave the doll aisle. Tim was becoming increasingly uncomfortable standing there and really wanted to go and stand in the Nintendo aisle to regain a little machismo. Naturally Kajsa wouldn't let him.

Later in the week, we went next door for dinner. We sat out on the balcony, ate Mexican and basically kicked back while the kids fought with each other. Apart from the occasional worrisome scream, it was very pleasant.

On Saturday it was Taltarni's birthday. We started the day with singing and gift giving. Fortunately Taltarni is still pretty much in our room, that is she is in a sitting room which leads off from our room, and therefore we didn't need to get out of bed at some ungodly hour to go in to her and sing. Taltarni loved her presents (particularly the horse, which she took to bed with her for the next few nights, and the dolls). (See the gallery for the new photos. To get to the gallery, go back to main page and follow the links (there has been some fixing going on!))

Knowing how stressful it can be when preparing for a birthday party, Tim escaped by taking Kalle to Great Falls Village to do a range of things: to get a haircut (they both tried to get a flat-top but the hairdresser noted that Tim does not have enough hair to support such a style. She was impressed with Kalle's growth and said "You should give some to your Dad." She wasn't going to get a big tip), fix a hole in the inflatable pool, buy a washer and do a little shopping. By the time they got back, it was almost past time for Kalle to be raced off to little Kajsa's birthday party. Although her birthday was in July, her parents decided to have the party later in the summer when more of her friends were in town. The sad thing was that it caused a little bit of a conflict with Taltarni's birthday.

Taltarni's party was a fun little affair with a half dozen kids, which was probably about the limit on what she could handle. We let them play a couple of games, gave them drinks and food and tried to keep out of the way. For us, it ended up more like an adult party as all the parents stayed and sat around having a few drinks. Meike sat downstairs and painted the kid's faces (more photos in the gallery). Taltarni was the last one to get done, which was quite lucky. Meike went through a book showing the various patterns and Taltarni chose to be a panda. Unfortunately, there is a very subtle difference between a person with panda markings and a ghoul. Taltarni looked striking. Strikingly scary. She loved it but she really looked like some sort of monster. Hanna was terrified, she wanted to have nothing to do with Taltarni and apparently had a couple of nightmares over the next few nights.

The big event of the following week was the predicted end of the world. The 11th of August had been identified by some people as "It". There was, as most will recall, a total eclipse of the sun, the last of the Millennium and probably the most watched eclipse ever. (It did pass over Turkey so maybe there a few thousand people for whom the prediction was about right.) Nostradamus wrote a quatrain which implied that bad things were to happen this year and scholars pinned this down to the eclipse. Well, the eclipse came and went and so far, so good.

Interestingly enough, the 11th was also slap bang in the middle of another celestial event. There is a Persied meteor shower about this time of the year and, because there was a new moon (or no moon), the visibility of the shower was predicted to be excellent. Tim got all excited and organised to travel that day so that we would be in the country and could go have a look at them. He cobbled up a contractor visit in Charlottesville, which was the home town of Thomas Jefferson (he owned a property, Monticello, a short distance away).

So, on the Wednesday, once Kajsa got off from work, we drove a hundred miles down the road to Charlottesville. The kids nearly drove us mad with constant whinging and high pitched squeals (actually that was mostly Taltarni). We got a bit of rest when we stopped at a Golden Corral restaurant for dinner. That was an experience. It was one of those places where they stare at people that they aren't related to (because they don't see many). The cuisine was high American, deep fried and bathed in gravy. Still, we were able to find some things in the buffet that appealed and the kids were quiet for half an hour so we shouldn't complain.

The next morning, Tim went to visit Litton Marine while Kajsa and Meike took the kids to the pool. Fortunately, the system Tim was going to look at was not that complex and the guy breifing him had another visitor coming later in the day so Tim arrived back at the hotel quite a bit before lunch and was able get down to the pool as well.

We spent the early afternoon visiting Monticello. While it is a little out of the way for those who are only in the US briefly, if you have the time, it is worth having a look at. We lunched at a historic tavern around the corner from Monticello. It was very nice and had an authentic old tyme menu. Basically you got fried chicken and salad and that's it. No choice. They also had authentic tin mugs for the drinks. As per usual, the kids were going to have apple juice while Tim ordered a local soft-drink. Kajsa ordered coffee and, like the barbarian she is, she wanted it raw (sans milk). Tim had been given the relatively simple task of ordering the food and drinks while Kajsa and Meike took the kids to get a table. He was standing there watching the woman put ice into a couple of the tin mugs when Kalle came back to the register to get his plate. Tim sorted Kalle out, sent him off back to Kajsa, turned and picked up a cup of what he thought was apple juice.

There is a slight delay between sensing heat at an extremity (even if it is extreme) and registering it at the brain. It is less than a second, but it was enough. Tim was startled when he realised he had picked up coffee in a metal mug and it was HOT. Rude word. (Fortunately, he had the forebearance to swear in Swedish). He put the cup down as quickly as he could. Too quickly, in fact. The coffee sloshed up, out of the mug and all over his hand. Another rude word (actually the same one, he didn't have time to think of a different word).

Tim spent most of the time in the tavern with his hand in a mug of iced water. That is when he wasn't rubbing potato salad on the burn. The waiter came out, looked worried, ducked away and came back with a few bits of potato and suggested that Tim rub it on his hand. - You what? "The chef swears by it. When ever he burns himself he rubs potato on the burn. Just keep doing it."

Tim is sure the conversation went something like:

Waiter: Omigod, omigod, there's an idiot out there and he's scalded him hand with our coffee from hell. He's gonna sue us. He's got a funny accent. Oh, man, I bet he's from New York. He's gonna sue for sure.

Chef: Don't panic, think. Have we got a fully equipped first aid kit around with sensible things in it, like salves, for situations like this?

W: You've got to be kidding, that would cost money. [Peeking through the little window.] He's still there.

C: Okay, did he look gullible?

W: Well ...

C: Right, look, I was just about to make the potato salad. Grab a couple of bits and take it out to him.

W: He's got food. It's his hand that's the problem.

C: Just tell him to rub it in to the burn. Tell him that the chef does it all the time, swears by it.

W: Wow, oh great. Does it work?

C: Nah. But tell him to keep doing it.

W: He's not going to sit there rubbing potato into his hand forever! He doesn't look that gullible.

C: Exactly. He'll stop doing it eventually and then you tell him he wasn't doing it long enough!

Sure enough, Tim got sick of rubbing potato into his hand PDQ and we returned to the hotel for a nap.

We took everyone out for dinner at the Flaming Wok, which is supposedly the only place in the US which does authentic Korean stone barbecues. This may be a gimmick but it was a successful gimmick because we ordered an authentic Korean stone barbecue. The kids were fascinated with the principle of having food cooked in the middle of the table in front of us. They were even more amazed when someone near us had the "Flaming Wok" dinner and there was a huge ball of flame. They sat there with eyes like saucers and little round mouths. Wow!

After dinner, we handed the kids over to Meike and went to see a movie (The General's Daughter - a good flick. [In humor you shouldn't have to explain but this is a joke on two levels. Swedish people should be able to get one and English speakers will need to capitalise on any advantage that gives them to get the other!]) After the movie, around midnight, we drove in search of somewhere to see the meteors. The whole idea of going down to Charlottesville at that particular time was so that we could see the meteors without the sky being washed out by all the light pollution. It had been overcast the evening before so that night was a total loss. This night was clear but even a smaller town like Charlottesville is lit up by thousands of floodlights and neon signs. Our hotel was close to the main strip and there was no hope of seeing anything from there.

Therefore, we drove until we found a place where there was almost no light (on the other side of a mountain from Charlottesville) and lay on the bonnet looking up into the sky. The Perseid meteor shower , while not as good as the Leonid meteor shower (coming in November), are supposed to produce up to a fifty meteors an hour. Well, it wasn't when we were out lying there after midnight in the middle of nowhere. We saw one (1) in the half hour we were there. Although we saw only the one, it was very very impressive. It wasn't a little tiny insignificant line in the sky, like most most meteors you see, it was a long broad streak. It made the effort worth it. And it was kind of romantic to be out there looking at the stars.

A long long time ago, Kajsa gave Tim a "How to Host a Mystery" as a birthday present, based on Star Trek:The Next Generation. For a long time, we had been promising to get around to actually using it at a dinner party with Tony and Shosh, Glenn and Vicki and Andy and Karen. Finally, on the following Saturday night, we got around to it. It was a lot of fun with everyone really getting into it. Andy and Karen were particularly well dressed. Glenn and Vicki came with Star Trek toys (including a thing that made the transporter sound) and Tony and Shosh were late (which they blamed on an old map and a slight detour through Leesburg). We sat around drinking Betelguesian nut champagne and various 23rd century vintage wines, consuming a slap-up meal and accusing each other of various misdeeds. Suffice it to say that Andy, as Cdr Riker, gave a superb rendition of a shag-bandit who had apparently bonked every character in the room with the exception of the one played by his wife! (Though maybe not through want of trying.) Tony was a convincing Klingon and Shosh was suitably bolshy, especially for one who turned up late.

We spent as much time as possible in bed the next day. As older people we are finding it harder to recover from late nights. As parents though, we find it very hard to sleep in. We had to take it in shifts, Kajsa got up first (Tim is not a morning person!) and then went back to bed when Tim finally emerged. Later in the afternoon, Taltarni and Kajsa went to the new neighbours (Marie-Claire and Amy) to play and chat, respectively. Tim and Kalle stayed at home and watched the last half of "Star Trek: The Next Generation - First Contact". Kalle quite likes "Star Track" and was distraught when he though that Data had died.

In fact it was a very emotional day for Kalle. After the movie was over, we flipped over to WETA which is the local Public Broadcasting Station. Unlike in proper countries where taxes are used to operate non-commercial TV stations, in America the Public TV stations work on contributions (both corporate and private). Every few months there is a pledge drive week in which wildly popular programs are aired and, every quarter hour, the show is interrupted so a couple of bozos can encourage you to send in your pledges. There is a gift of some kind associated with each level of pledge. For example, if you give $30, you get a book about the show you watching. If you give $60, you get the video and so on.

It so happens that on that particular day they were having another pledge drive. The show they were airing was a documentary on the life and times of Koko, the "talking" gorilla. As we started watching, they were talking about how Koko was able to express emotions in his signing. To illustrate, they talked about how Koko really liked a storybook with a kitten in it and expressed a desire to get a cat of his own. Sure enough, the handlers got Koko a kitten. It was truly amazing to see this huge gorilla cuddling a little tiny cat. Koko certainly seemed to be very happy, and the kitten didn't appeared to be as terrified as you would imagine. There was a little more footage of the cat with Koko and then they moved on to the main point.

One day, one of the handlers came in to Koko to tell him some sad news. The cat had been run over while at a neighbouring farm. Koko pause for a moment, took on a perplexed expression and signed "bad". Later, when he was alone (but still being filmed), Koko was evidently expressing grief, a concept that we humans often conceitedly assume is unique to our species.

Anyway, by this time Kalle was trying very hard not to cry (and the author's chin was quivering a little if you want the whole truth). When asked if he was crying, Kalle said "Not really, I'm just a bit sad." Shortly after, taking advantage of the emotional weakness of their audience, the bozos came on and made their pitch: pledge $60 and you get the video. Kalle was now very excited. He wanted to call immediately, "Can you remember the number, pappa? I'll get a pen and paper. We've got to buy the video so we can teach Taltarni." - What are we going to teach Taltarni? "Not to go on the road!"

We will soon get delivery of the Koko video and the whole family can sit around and have a good old cry.

The emotions didn't end there. Tim had told Staffan about a golf game that week a long time earlier but he wasn't completely sure whether Staffan could make it. To cover the options, Tim told the organisers at SAGA that he would most likely have a guest, put him down for one but if he didn't have a guest, he'd still play ... just add him to a threesome. Tim called Staffan during the weekend and confirmed that he could make it. The guy who organises the teams (Mike "Boggy" Smith) was away on the Monday but Tim dutifully left a message first thing.

On Tuesday afternoon, the day before the game, Tim was told that there wasn't a place for Staffan and he had been put in a threesome.

AAARRRRRGGGG!

Tim's immediate thought was that it would have been better if neither of them had got a place. There is no way that he could have enjoyed a game with the knowledge that he had got Staffan all worked up about playing at Reston National, just to ring the night before with "Sorry, I'm playing tomorrow but it looks like you weren't so lucky!" Tim was a little bit stressed and it didn't help that he had hassled Staffan when he had pulled out the night before an earlier game. Eventually, he decided that, if Staffan was willing to risk it, they would just both turn up and see if there were any spare slots on the day.

We got to the course early and Tim hassled Boggy relentlessly. (Guess who won't be dropping any of Tim's guests again!) until news came that someone wasn't going to be able to make it. Whew! What a relief. As it turned out it was an excellent day and some vaguely acceptable golf was played. The heat started early and by the time we ended, sweat was pouring off us. Tim was convinced that he had a little heat stroke by the time he got home. A little afternoon nap is excellent for heat stroke, don't you know.

Before he could have his nap though, Tim spent a little time out and about looking for Tasha who had run away earlier in the day. Tasha has a bad habit of ducking out through the garage door which the kids have a bad habit of leaving open. Eventually Tasha did come back but it was not until after 8:00pm. Kajsa who was at work, was very relieved. Kalle was also very relieved, perhaps a little more than Kajsa. The reason for this was that we had spent the previous evening watching Disney's live action "101 Dalmations". Kalle was very excited during the showing (Taltarni was very excited also, just a little less expressive - "Doggy!") It is possible that he took a little too much away from it though, he was convinced that someone might want Tasha's coat. Well, if they did, they didn't get it. Tasha came back fully clothed (and, as far as we can tell, with honour intact).

Wednesday 18 August was memorable for being another day that the world did not end. It was the day that the Cassini space probe was due to perform a close fly-by of the Earth, using our gravity to sling itself out to Jupiter. It was supposed to reach speeds in the order of 30,000 miles an hour (from memory). A very tricky manoeuvre and one that we wouldn't like to go wrong (like with the Mars probe that failed in mid-September). The reason for concern is that Cassini contains a nuclear power cell, complete with seventy pounds of plutonium - a millionth of an ounce of which, it is claimed, is enough to cause cancer. Seventy pounds is enough to fill a couple of cancer wards or two. Well, don't worry, from all reports the space probe is on its way to Jupiter and, all being well, won't be coming back again.

There was a little more drama the next day. Tim is always careful to look out for deer on Bellview Road, a beautiful little stretch that is on his way to and from work. There hadn't been deer there for a while but it is usually one of the best places to look for them if you are driving. Anyway, on this day he saw a little group of deer down near one of the lakes. As he was early, he pulled off the road and drove towards them to get a closer look. It was a doe and three fawns, very pretty. Almost picture perfect. The bit that wasn't picture perfect was the fact that one of the fawns had a badly broken foreleg. It took a while to establish that that was the problem. Tim had to get quite close to see and it was obvious that the break was a very bad one and wouldn't heal naturally - it was swinging freely and the fawn couldn't put any weight on it.

Tim noted that a car had arrived at one of the houses nearby so he drove up and asked if they could ring someone to report the injury. In Australia, you know that you could always start with RSPCA, but Tim had no idea where to start here. After a little discussion, he and the woman house-owner came to a conclusion that they should try the Park Rangers. Even if they didn't handle deer outside the National Parks, they would still know who to contact. Unfortunately, it was well after 5:00pm by that time and there was no-one available to speak with.

Eventually they gave up. Before heading home. Tim said that, hopefully, someone would see the deer during the next couple of days and call the authorities. Although he looked out especially for that little fawn every day since, he has not yet seen it a second time. Perhaps a car has finished it off.

When Tim got home, Kalle was in the midst of a conversation about spanking. He was particularly interested in the fact that pappa got spanked when he was little. Tim gave a few examples of when he had got spanked and what it was for. There was the time he opened the car door on the way to kindergarten (leaning over his brother, Chris, to do so) and Chris fell out. Then there was also the time he tried to wash Chris' hair with eggs and used hot water to wash it out. Not a good move. There was also the time he didn't obey an instruction to stop playing with a very noisy toy (it was very late in the evening). Not only that but he managed to break the ON/OFF switch - in the ON position.

He hoped that these illustrations would suffice. No way. Kalle wanted a full listing of every time pappa got a spanking and what it was for. "What else did you get spanked for?" Tim thought carefully about the long list of things that he had been spanked for and declined to expand further (including the time that he let the handbrake off in a car which then proceded to roll into a ditch). - They were nothing but youthful indiscretions.

On Sunday it was Hanna's birthday. In the morning, Kajsa took kids to swimming and then we went to Wolf Trap for a little picnic-type birthday party. It was quite a good temperature, not too hot, not too cold, precis lagom. Kajsa left to go to work at about 1:00pm and the rest of us stayed until about 3:00.

During the evening, Meike went out to see The Sixth Sense. She came back raving about it: The best movie I have ever seen. Note that she thought that about Armageddon too, so she is obviously a little swayed by Bruce Willis. We decided that we would go and see it the next night, which we did.

Without a doubt, The Sixth Sense is an excellent movie. Maybe not the best ever, but excellent. It is one of those movies that suddenly make sense right at the end, a few nagging anomolies throughout suddenly make sense and you walk out of the place putting all the pieces together, wanting to watch it again. Go see it. By the way, it is a little creepy in bits but it's not too bad.

Probably the major event of the month was the visit to Six Flags America. This is a Warner Brothers franchise theme park, similar to Paramount Kings Dominion bu not quite as good. We drove out there after the morning rush hour and hoped, because schools had started going back, that there wouldn't be that many people there. Unfortunately, the rest of the city seemed to have had the same idea and we spent an hour standing in the rain waiting in the queue for tickets. Luckily enough the rain stopped before we got inside the park and stayed away the rest of the day, otherwise it would have been totally miserable.

As it was, it was still reasonably miserable. At first we couldn't find any good rides for the kids (that is rides that would let on kids of Kalle and Taltarni's height), we were almost violently ill on the first ride we all did get to go on (parents only, the kids loved being spun round and round and round and round and round and round and round - we want to stop now - and round and round - we really want to stop now - and round and round - STOP THIS STUPID RIDE, YOU FIENDS!) and the rides that Kalle most wanted to go on, the Batman/Gotham City rides, were either closed or not for kids.

Still, we were able to see the Batman Extravaganza and the kids got to meet Batman. A little later, we went to see a 50's music show. Taltarni sat absolutely transfixed throughout the show, which was just a few guys and girls singing 50's songs and dancing around making fools of themselves. She was very sad when it was all over. She didn't move, she just sat there with wide eyes, looked at Tim, pointed to the stage and said "Back!?" - You want them to come back? "Yep."

The next day Tim ran away to St Louis for the rest of the week. While he was away, Kajsa's shoulder, which had been bothering her, really flared up. It was so bad that she actually took time off from work and went to see a doctor (don't worry, despite this drastic action, it is not life threatening). She was given some strong pills to take the pain away and reduce the inflammation. Luckily Meike was still here and could take the kids away as well.

Meanwhile, Tim was having a high old time St Louis. He travelled there for most of the day with Mark Remmers. They were lucky and had an almost empty plane so Tim got to lie down and sleep. Mark wasn't so lucky, being seated near some Australian loving Americans. The problem with Australian loving Americans is that they won't let you get lonely. That is, they won't leave you alone to read your book in peace or sleep. They just go on and on about how much they like Australians. C'mon fellas, give us a break!

When they got to St Louis, they went for a walk to the Arch. As they were there a little earlier than Tim had visited last time, they were able to go up to the top of the Arch in the specially designed tram.

To understand how the tram works you have to imagine that the arch is part of an oval, a large part of which is buried. Then imagine a tram in which little compartments housing four people at most are suspended between two rails running up inside the oval. Between the two rails is a little mechanical arrangement that maintains each compartment in an upright position (otherwise, by the time you get to the top, you'd be upsidedown).

As you go up the Arch, you rachet through approximately 180 degrees to arrive about at the apex(about 500 feet). You then get out and walk up some stairs (while being greated by some guy who is obviously suffering from altitude sickness). Then you are in a little room about ten to fifteen metres long and two metres high with two sets of reinforced windows to look out of. And you are a long way up. And you can see that there is nothing below you. And the tram is already heading back. And it won't be back for fifteen minutes. And the guy won't shut up.

It is not a good place to be if you have vertigo, claustrophobia, agorophobia or any psychotic leanings.

We went back down in the next tram and then went to see an IMAX rendition of the US westward expansion. There was some magnificent footage as it traced the travels of Lewis and Clark from the east to the west. There was also aa amazing sequence covering the travails of Joseph Smith's people, the Mormons and how they handled the Grand Canyon in covered wagons. They used wooden ramps and pulleys and ropes to lower the wagons down and then must have gone north from there to Utah. It was a great achievement but you wonder why they didn't just head north in the first place. Tim suspects they intended to get all the way across the Grand Canyon and were at the bottom of it before they realised that it wasn't going to be so easy to pull the wagons up the other side.

There was a visit to Boeing the next day which was productive and also quite fun. Well, the briefings were productive and the jaunt around on the Missouri and Mississippi Rivers on a speedboat was fun. One of the guys at the plant has his own boat and he invited us to go out with him for the afternoon to have a few drinks while we took in the scenery. Some of the wild-life was particularly wild. They should have a slogan like "You never know what you will see on the river." As their hosts told Tim and Mark, there is a completely different lifestyle on the river. Oh, and we saw some birds as well.

In the evening, they were taken to a real Southern restaurant. There was nothing on the menu that was not deep fried. There were a few things on the menu that should have been deep fried longer, perhaps never to be brought back out of the oil - deep fried chicken livers and deep fried gizzards were two memorable specialties. As Tim was driving and had not partaken of the beer, his taste buds had not been destroyed and he wonders whether normal sober people actually eat that stuff on a regular basis. One thing is certain, a restaurant like that wouldn't go down too well next to the sushi bars of LA!

They headed home the next day after seeing some really interesting technology - not American technology, mind you. Russian stuff. Someone came up with the bright idea of using Russian missiles as targets for American missiles and, after the fall of the wall, they went and asked the Russians if they would like to sell some of their missiles. "Da, for sure, you pay cash!" Boeing ended up with a pile of hi-tech Russian weapons to turn into state-of-the-art missile targets. Ain't international co-operation grand?

They got to the airport in a bit of a rush after being treated to another meal on the Boeing business account. Tim recalled in time this time that he needed to get fuel for the car so that wasn't a problem. He had it firmly fixed in his mind that he couldn't afford to put Mark through the same sort of stress that he had put himself through at Las Vegas, so they got to the airport with a full half hour to spare. Just in time to be told that their flight had been cancelled. Bugger.

Fortunately, St Louis is a big TWA hub so there were lots of flights to be put on, the only problem was that there were so many other people vying for the same flights. They ended up getting a flight that was only an hour and a half later than the original one. They consoled themselves with the knowledge that it could have been worse.

Indeed, it did get worse. To add to our misery, there was a big storm messing up the eastern seaboard (the remnants of Hurricane Dennis, which had threatened to give the Bahamas a thorough hammering). When the plane got to the Washington Area, it was put into a holding pattern for more than half an hour before a landing slot was arranged. Despite all his troubles, Tim managed to get home before the kids were in bed.

Kajsa had had the day off and had gone to the Town and Country open day. This is a pre "back to school" day when the kids get to meet their new teachers and see their new classrooms. For most pre-schoolers, this concept is terrifying. "You mean you are going to leave me here all by myself? With all these strangers and other kids I have never met?" Not Taltarni, she loved it and didn't want to leave even though she was going off to a swimming lesson which she also loves. Fortunately she did have someone in the class that she knew already. Jesper (Johan's little brother and one of Taltarni's best friends) is in her class so there are two little Swedish looking kids in the class, two little kids that the teachers have great difficulty understanding. Two little kids who must get really frustrated with not being understood. One little kids who throws tantrums when she is not understood.

Kalle was very proud about being a big boy. As he has now started Elementary School (First Grade), he has moved into a new building and has been place in a small class, consisting entirely of boys. Poor teacher.

The last weekend of the month was quiet and then, on Monday, school started in earnest and Tim ran away again, this time for New Mexico. As this visit spanned the changeover of the month, it will be covered in the next chapter.

There are some people out there who will recall that the end of August marks Tim's birthday. As usual we celebrated it quietly. Tim requested that he not be inflicted with the wake him up early and sing at him thing. He still got singing, but everyone was nice enough to hold it off for as long as possible.

Tim must have been complaining about his work a little too much, if the gifts were any indication. He had been nominated as the Naval Attache's representative on the Defence Y2K committee and was responsible for writing about what would need to be done if all the power were to go out on 1 Jan 2000 and what preparation would be required to prepare for an evacuation of Australian Defence people from their homes. He wasn't enjoying the work as the topics are very airy fairy and he wasn't given much direction or supporting information. It is also difficult to write about what to do in the event of a very unlikely disaster (there will undoubtedly be isolated problems, but it is extremely unlikely that the whole power grid will go down). Despite this, he had to imagine a whole raft of "what-if" scenarios, each one sounding more extreme than the previous (rampaging mobs, infections in the water, invasion by little green men armed with rectal probes, Armageddon).

Anyway, for his birthday, Kajsa got him a little Countdown to the Millennium clock and screen saver, just so he can be fully aware of how much time he has left to the big day. He also got a big box full of new shoes. (He also had been given a bunch of golf stuff earlier in the year so he really got piles of presents.)

Meike spoiled Tim with a Dilbert desk calender (for 2000, of course), a book on the Civil War and a great bookmark. She also made a whole batch of apricot struedel, because she knows that Tim has an opinion about apricots.

In the evening we had a nice little dinner out on the balcony and, of course, chocolate cake was served.

Some keen minded readers will recall that Tim and Kalle were waiting on a call from the casting company following up from their screen test. Tim decided to give Ms Presley a call to see what the story was. He called the company (Model 1) and got her answering machine ("Sorry, this answering service is full. Goodbye!")

Tim tried again by calling and stabbing the zero button. This had the desired effect and he was put through to an operator. From there he was put through to someone else who knew what was going on. The guy said that there had been a huge rush to send all the demo tapes off to a producer somewhere and that was the reason that they had not called. They'll let us know if anything comes back from the producer. So, basically, it was "Don't call us, we'll call you" all over again.

There were some interesting items in the papers during the month.

One thing that is almost guaranteed when travelling is that, in the morning, you will find a copy of USA Today outside the door. You get used to reading this particular paper in hotels and on planes. It is usually a very bland publication, very inoffensive and pretty lightweight. Even the ads.

Not in August. There was some very important news in a couple of issues that Tim saved. It seems that a bunch of biblical scholars in Michigan have been able to pin down the date of Jesus' birth to the day (the Feast of Trumpets, 29 September 2BC) making the end of September the big 2000th - you just have to trust us on the maths. Of course this is an important date in and of itself (assuming that it is valid), Jesus' teachings have certainly had a big influence in the past couple of thousand years. But this little group of bible scholars, who have put out at least two full page, full colour advertisements, are hinting that it means a little bit more than an excuse to get together and chow down a few hot dogs and some of Momma's apple pie.

Yes, indeedy.

The first advertisement was reasonably benign (once you get over the giggles from reading that in 3895 BC "In the beginning God created the Heaven and the earth" [At the beep, it will be 5 thousand, 8 hundred and 94 years since Creation, precisely] and that "Cain is declared a fugitive and a Vagabond" [what does a fugitive and Vagabond do when he is one of only a handful of people in existence? where does he run?]). There are dates placed against a lot of biblical events (2695 BC- Adam dies at age 930, 1656 BC - Methuselah dies at age 969 and flood begins [2239 years PC, ie post creation], 1899 BC- Tower of Babel destroyed, 1889 BC - Noah dies at age 950 [note that this means that Adam and Noah were homies for about 120 years], 1527 BC - Moses born, etc).

Then there is a count upwards. Most of the AD dates were placed against New Testament events but there were a handful of modern date events. In fact, there were only five events marked for the 20th century: 1917 British General Allenby defeats Ottoman's and takes Jerusalem [defeats the Ottoman's what?], 1947 United Nations passes Palestine resolution, 1948 Israeli's declare independence - new state of Israel formed [Israeli's what?]. 1968 "6 Day War" - Jerusalem fully under control of Israel and 1999 2000th anniversary of JC's Birthday. Hm, big focus there on Israel. Wonder why that might be ... ?

The second advertisement made the reason quite clear. It started with a list of questions:

"Have you ever wondered?

Why America is the wealthiest, most powerful nation in the world today?

Why every dollar printed in America bears the inscription "In God We Trust"?

Why the Great Seal on the back of our one dollar bill depicts the Pyramid capstone, which by the way, the Egyptian government plans to cap with a golden capstone on December 31, 1999? Curiously enough, the "Time Line" inside the Great Pyramid ends in 1999.

Why the world is facing monumental problems with the transition through Y-2K at year end?

Why the solar eclipse on August 11, 1999 completely blacked out the site of ancient Babylon whence came the three wise men (Magi) two thousand years ago?

Why for the first time in 25,000 years the constellations Virgo, Coma Bernice (her crown of twelve stars) and our moon will be positioned to fulfill the prophecy in Revelation 12:17?

Why an earthquake registering 7.8 on the Richter scale should occur in Turkey on August 16, 1999 - right in the location of the original 7 Christian churches in Revelation 1:4?

Why Tornados with record intensity (318 mph winds) assailed Oklahoma City and Salt Lake City (first tornado in over 30 years) this summer?

America is the largest Christian nation on earth - perhaps the "Father" is sending us a message ..."

That's right. The crazies are coming out of the woodwork. And with a few selected factoids, they even have proof that it is all coming to an end. There are a few Christian stations on the radio here and, although we don't normally listen to them, it is surprising the number of times you are tuning past here a good sounding song and then have someone come on and babble about "the end days".

Well, there is really nothing to worry about if the pope is to be believed. During the month, the pope made a stunning announcement. No, he is not madly in love with the Queen (but who could blame him if he was?) He announced that Heaven and Hell are not real places.

That's right, there is no physical location for Hell (you can stop digging now guys) or Heaven. It is now officially a state of mind, metaphorical as well metaphysical. You can't get in your Buick and drive there.

Most of the world would say, "Well, of course. What's new about that?" (Quite a few years ago, Tim was told that he is already in hell. That was even before he got married!) Most people would not take any offense at the news. They would in America.

In America it was big news.

"Pope is dithering old idiot" was the headline in news releases from various Southern Baptist organisations - perhaps not in those exact words but the sentiment was the same. In a country where surveys indicate that in the order of 80% of the population believe in the literal truth of the bible (both testaments, absolute "if it's written there, then it's the truth" type literal truth), such news was shocking. It was a little surprising that huge crowds didn't gather outside the White House, calling for US troops to storm the Vatican with Green Berets and take out the heretic.

Actually, now we come to think about it, the pope has been pretty quiet recently ...