Merry Christmas

from the

Family Wevel-Pyatt

Santa came down in Massachusetts
This could be, his final mistake
It might sound tragic
But they don't like magic
Where witches are burned at the stake .

They got him on radar at twelve thousand feet,
Tracked him all the way in
He was met by a posse
Including Mulder and Scully,
'Cause they thought him an a-e-lien.

With the suspect in custody, the FBI claimed
"He's just an old fat red suited guy."
But the people from Salem,
Didn't want just to jail him,
The law says that he's got to fry.

Now Santa had representation.
His lawyer was one of the best,
But cases with witches,
Can be real difficult to work with
(And that's not even counting the tests. )

The case was all over the news
With a judge who was oh so devout
And when the jury retired
To stoke up the fire
Santa knew that he'd have to get out.

The elves formed a new elite squad,
To take on the finest of Boston.
The police, in position,
Nearly foiled the elves' mission
But in all of the road-works, they lost them .

Santa was snatched from the clink,
To be carried back home by his men,
And like that baby shaking nanny ,
He has an untoasted derriere ,
And he'll never visit Salem again.

And now Santa is back on the job,
With an escort, from the UN,
Until the next Iraq crisis,
He'll be handing out prizes ,
(Unless your surname, of course, is Hussein!)

Ó Wevel Pyatt Productions Unlimited 1998