Production in the toyshop
encountered a little hitch
because Santa got thrown out this year
by a wicked witch.
 
The witch, she had an evil plan
to upset all the kids,
making sure that Santa had no home
except out on the streets.
 
So Santa and his little elves
were living in cardboard boxes
until they all were hunted down by men
who mistook them for little foxes.
 
Only Santa and his family
survived that fateful day
(oh that sad sad day of 'Elf Cull'
when they all were blown away).
 
After that, well Santa hit rock bottom
and gave up toy distribution,
Junior went completely feral
and Merry took up a new job.
 
But in September HAIRISINABS took them
(although they really stank)
bought them new cloths, gave them a house
and put them through the 'Tank'.
 
And while in the 'Tank' Santa had
a wonderful surprise,
the elves he saw the hunters shoot,
every one of them survived.
 
You see elves are imaginary creatures
even though they say they're not
and a good thing about being a delusion
is that you cannot really be shot.
 
So Santa and his family are happy
and they have their very own place.
The wicked witch's plans have failed.
Santa has a smile on his face.
 
Production is at very high levels
with elves working right through the night,
Santa will have all of the toys ready
and it'll all be right on the night!

 
 Ó Wevel Pyatt Productions Unlimited 1994