Slightly Smutty Version | Modified for Television Version

Na na nana nana

Na na nana nana

Santaman, Santaman

Santaman!

How bizarre!

The deer are all up front
They're looking very nice
Dashing 'cross the wasteland
In the cold, cold ice
Santa's on the sleigh
Presents packed down tight
You're name is on his list
It's there in black and white
You don't believe in Santa
I hear you ask for proof
You get it when you see them
Landing on the roof

How bizarre
How bizarre, how bizarre

Destination your place
With a pit stop for a leak
With all the beer he's drinking
This is gonna take a week
A very shaky landing
Taking out your stack
Lawyers say he's culpable
But Santa don't care jack

How bizarre
How bizarre, how bizarre

Ooh Santa (ooh Santa)
They're driving me crazy (driving me crazy)
The kids all scream and run about
Yes they scream and run about
Oh they scream and run about
(Just scream and run about)
They're in my face

Cleaning up the mess
Squeezing down your flue
With a pack of quite strange presents
He's got this year for you
Something made of latex
Manacles, a whip
Santa doesn't quite know
What to make of it

He checks amongst his papers
Finds your wish list there
Sees the things you didn't get and
Gives himself a scare
He just shakes his head
Leaves your presents on the shelf
Climbs back up the chimney
Mutters to himself

How bizarre
How bizarre, how bizarre

Ooh Santa (ooh Santa)
Everyone's crazy (everyone's crazy)
They just scream and run about
Yeah they scream and run about
They all scream and run about
(Just scream and run about)
They're in your face

Leave my presents when you're down
And at my place
(Leave my presents when you're down
And at my place!)

Ó Wevel Pyatt Productions Unlimited 1997