Santa had been very busy
Since the attack of the (spit) Easter Bunny,
From the first angry shout
They both went flat out
(Until it started to cost too much money).
Bombs fell, for one hundred days
Easter Bunnyland fell into dark,
Became a new version,
After nuclear conversion
To a chocolate coated carpark.
"Bugger this" said Santa indiscretely,
"This is more than a joke
"If we can't blow him away
"After one hundred days
"He can't be too bad a bloke!"
So Santa recalled all his forces,
and bought an updated sleigh.
He said to the elves,
"Look after the shelves
"Me and Merry are going away."
The sleigh raced away in the sky
and came down in a foreigner's land,
While they was there
Santa got quite a scare,
Something happened that wasn't quite panned.
Merry slowly began to suspect
What Santa already knew
She was going to swell,
It was proven as well
By the pregnancy test - it turned blue.
A few months and Merry was huge
Her belly button turned inside out,
Santa was kind, (he said)
"I don't really mind
"It's the leaking I'm worried about!"
Eventually the big day arrived
Merry said "the labour's begun"
and after a wait
(and the use of a blade)
The Christmases had their first son.
Now that Santa and Merry are parents
Both of them tend to agree
Even with the nappies
They both are quite happy
To have changed the way that they live.
So, while Santa will deliver this year,
Don't expect him before Boxing Day
You may be surprised,
But you can trust your eyes
Those are nappies you see on his sleigh!