Santa Claus got busted
just the other day,
the North Pole coppers got him
and took the bum away,
they got him reckless driving,
in an unlicensed open sleigh,
four ninety in a sixty zone,
his blood count point two eight.
Breaking in and entering,
climbing down some poor bloke's flue,
pinching grog and bikkies,
molesting children too.
Possession of stolen goodies,
toys and chocolate in a sack,
being rowdy in the cop car,
Ho Ho Hoing in the back.
He wore a bright red snow suit
and was laughing all the time,
how those North Pole coppers wished
that smiling was a crime.
They threw him in the slammer
and threw away the key,
they strung him up upside down,
they'll never let him free.
So don't look out this Christmas,
be naughty, don't be nice
'cause Santa won't be 'round this year
and now you all know why!
 

Ó WJTP Productions 1987